Simon Cowell
Kara DioGuardi Joins American Idol as the Fourth Judge
Looks like the changes are already rolling in. It was just announced that a 4th judge will be joining Drunky, Man Boobs, and Incoherent on American Idol 8's panel. Just what we need... more inane comments from the peanut gallery. But maybe this one will be better. The new judge is Kara DioGuardi, a Grammy nominated songwriter who is reponsible for such travesties as Ashlee Simpson's Pieces of Me, Lindsay Lohan's Confessions of a Broken Heart, and Paris Hilton's I Want You among other song. AI is definitely keeping it in the family, as DioGuardi has written songs for many past Idols as well, such as Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken, Katharine McPhee, Bo Bice, and Taylor Hicks. DioGuardi also owns Arthouse Entertainment, which is responsible for David Archuleta's new song Crush. So what nickname will we come up with for Kara? What will we mock her for? And will anyone call her out on writing such terrible songs? Take your guesses in the comments.
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Simon Cowell Says Big Changes are on the Way for Idol
Now that Nigel Lythgoe has left the show (ding dong, the witch is dead!), Simon Cowell says his role is going to change from puppet to puppetmaster. Simon told Access Hollywood, "“You must never depend on one person. I don’t think we would have had the success initially without Nigel but we are onto our eighth season. It feels like it’s going to be a different show this year... With Nigel there it became too much of a crowd and he is a very good producer but I think now he has stepped down I probably will get more involved." Translation: "Nigel Lythgoe was killing the show and I'm glad the fucker's gone." Simon does allude to some changes now that Lythgoe's out. He says that the middle stages and end of the competiton are usually boring and he wants to improve them. Simon also acknowledges,"they were so media savvy, these contestants, that they never showed us, or you, their true personality. In parts they were like robots. I didn’t know much more about them at the end then I did at the beginning." Great point, we've been saying that for years. So will Simon improve the show? Only time will tell, but we're not holding our breath, as we're promised change every year and it never comes through. A turd is a turd no matter how much you polish it.
Simon Cowell Agains Proves How Out of Touch With Music He Truly Is
Why people listen to Simon's advice on Idol is beyond us. He's the man behind such awful records as the Teletubbies soundtrack, the Power Rangers soundtrack, and worst of all, Leona Lewis. But former boybander Brian McFadden tells The Age a hilarious tale of just how bad Simon's taste in music truly is. McFadden was previously in a boy band called Westlife, not really known in America, but pretty big in England. Simon had the band release cheesy cover versions of such lame tunes as Seasons in the Sun, Uptown Girl, and Against All Odds (the VFTW theme song) as singles. The band was being ridiculed for their lack of taste. So how did Simon want to remedy the situation? Simon sat the band down in 2004 and told them they would next be covering Barry Manilow's Mandy. Seriously. Poor, poor Brian. McFadden says, "They were formulating how to get a No. 1 record. I wanted to write my own songs and sing my own music." Another reason why the American Idol machine mostly cranks out losers. Look what they have to work with!
Bid on Vote for the Worst's Charity and Caricature Auction
Vote for the Worst has raised $2500 for Relay for Life and the American Cancer Society this year, but we'd like to do one more thing to help out. We're starting a charity auction with 6 great items that you can bid on where 100% of the proceeds will go to help the fight against cancer. To bid on the items, simply follow these links over to eBay, and bid generously to help an oustanding cause.
Bo Bice T-Shirt with Signed Catalog and CD
Steffi DiDomenicantonio Custom Made Autographed Bows
Taylor Hicks Signed T-Shirt
Mikalah Gordon 'My Job Is To Annoy You' Shirt From Her Time on Idol
Phuong Pham Hat From American Idol and Demo
Canadian Idol Autographs and Trading Cards
(We also had one more INCREDIBLE item that may be lost in the mail. We hope UPS can find it soon so we can put it up. We'll keep you posted if they can find it.)
The official VFTW caricatures are timeless works of art, and they are also up for auction! If you win the auction, you will own the one of a kind artwork, the only copy in existence, complete with a letter of authenticity. 100% of these profits will go to the artist, the very talented Laura Hawbaker. Bid on the caricatures at the links below:
Randy Jackson ● Simon Cowell ● Paula Abdul ● Danny Noriega ● Amy Davis ● Amanda Overmyer ● Kristy Lee Cook ● Brooke White ● Jason Castro ● David Archuleta
Could Idol Finally Be Fixing Their Terrible Show?
It's unlikely. But there's some hope! Next year, the hour long results shows are gone. But we do still have to sit through 30 minutes of crap to find out who goes home. Also, rumors are circulating that Simon Cowell knows the show needs a massive overhaul. At a recent staff meeting, Simon said, "Everything we do needs to be examined ... including the sets, the audition process, the choice of musical genres for the final weeks of competition and even how we handle the audience [for the live performances] and say goodbye to the people eliminated." Agreed. Fix the show. Simon allegedly wants Paula and Randy fired too (good call, though we'd miss Paula's drunken ramblings... and you need to fire yourself as well). Hey, it's a good start. Will this all happen? Probably not. The producers are idiots.
Simon Admits this Season Sucks Because the Contestants Have No Personality
So much for the best season ever! Simon Cowell was asked by Variety why season 7 isn't interesting and he said that the contestants have no personality. "They are giving very safe answers to questions, making safe song selections. We are not getting a sense of who they are. We have to try to pull it out of them more." VFTW figured this one out a long time ago. Looks like they should put us on their payroll. Or tell David Archuleta's stage dad to stop beating the contestants into submission.
Simon Cowell Wants to Produce... 'From Justin to Kelly 2'
Well, not quite. But since Simon Cowell is oblivious to the fact that everything he does outside of American Idol fails miserably, he has decided he now wants to produce a movie. The working title is Star Struck, and it's said to be like a modern day Fame, except it takes place behind the scenes of an Idol like show. Real inventive. Who is letting this assclown produce something else? You'd think the entertainment industry would keep Simon away from producing anything after his multitude of failures such as Celebrity Duets, American Inventor, and Cupid. But at least there will be a movie to keep all of the dusty copies of From Justin to Kelly from being lonely on the Blockbuster shelves.
Tony Bennett Realizes that American Idol Sucks
Tony Bennett, fresh off his guest stint on American Idol, is not happy with show. And who can blame him? He's mad about the very things VFTW has been saying for years. MSNBC reports, "The “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” singer told the U.K. edition of Time Out that his appearance on the show left him disgusted by how the show’s hopefuls are put through a wringer — and then left out to dry." When Tony also gave Simon Cowell some friendly advice, Simon shrugged him off because he was "too busy making money." Of course all of that money is going to the starving kids in Africa and not your own mansion, right, Simon?