Kristy Lee Cook
Michael Johns is Eliminated, VFTW Victory!
Michael Johns is eliminated. The only thing funnier would have been Carly's swan song. The open mouthed friend in the audience was pretty hilarious. Bye bye Aussie douche bag. "Last year for Idol Gives Back, no one left us. This year, Michael... it's the end of the road." Awesome. Always good to make Paula cry. Continue to victory, Kristy!
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Vote for Kristy! 1-866-IDOLS-04
Vote for Kristy. 1-866-IDOLS-04 or text 'vote' to 5704. With a decent performance this week, Kristy could take out one of the frontrunners. Now THAT would be entertainment. Because she sang ok, imagine a hilarious bottom 3 of Carly, David Cook, and Michael Johns. Hysterical! Imagine a bottom 2 of Carly and Brooke, outcrying each other hysterically and one going home. Imagine the outrage. This must happen. Entertainment central! America would be outraged since Kristy is obviously the least consistent left. So vote harder, harder, harder for Kristy.
Kristy is Safe, VFTW Victory!
Kristy was in the bottom but didn't go home, VFTW victory! Ramiele, sorry, but you were boring, and you should have given us those pots and pans. Kristy, keep whoring it up on stage and sassing Simon. But please, for the love of God, do something CRAZIER next week. This show is so boring, but since you only have us and horny teenage boys to thank for your safety, please play to us and sing Lil Mama's "Lip Gloss" for Idol Gives Head. We would love you. VOTE HARD, LONG, AND DEEP FOR KRISTY LEE COOK!
P.S. Is it any coincidence that now there are 7 plants left in the top 8? And the producers tried to trick the viewers into thinking past experience didn't matter. Only David Cook is not a plant, yet he might as well be. The plants have taken over. This is your fault, America. Bad job.
1-866-IDOLS-07, Vote for Kristy Lee!
Kristy Lee Cook is sneaky, so vote for her. 1-866-IDOLS-07 or text 'VOTE' to 5707. She played to the rednecks last week, this week she wants the poor vote. So let's help underpaid America make Kristy our next American Idol! She certainly needs the help to survive the week. If Kristy makes it this week, she'll be a part of Idol Gives Head and she can sing "Amazing Grace" for the 500th time. Obviously she is by far the least talented person left, so if she sticks around, it would knock out someone who is at least marginally better. Let's try to make it happen, people. Kristy Lee needs to still sing about her love for Jesus, being white trash, her love of horses, and will eventually sing about all of them combined during the finale with her boobs hanging out. We must make this happen. So dial hard and long for Kristy, because Kristy likes it hard and long... when you vote, silly!
Kristy is Safe, VFTW Victory!
Kristy didn't go home. Yay for VFTW and people who fall for patriotic, cheesy songs. We love you all. Even though Chikezie had to go home, it's ok, because Kristy will make us all laugh week after week. Though we still don't like her like our past picks Amanda and Danny. It's OK though, because Jason and Syesha, who are way better than Kristy, were in the bottom 3. That is awesome. Keep up the good work, America! Let's send the better plants home.
Vote for Kristy, 1-866-IDOLS-09
Kristy did not disppaoint, so dial 1-866-IDOLS-09 or text 'VOTE' to 5709. She picked a corny song to pander to patriotic America. She added a key change she could barely sing. The corny hand waving was over the top. And then... the judges loved it? What? At least Paula was semi-coherent and heard the bad notes. Oh well, she's terrible and still deserves our support. Kristy winning is way funnier than anything else so far. But honestly, they're all so bad, it's hard to pick a "worst." The judges will at least hate Kristy again next week. This show is becoming almost unwatchable. Kristy Lee Cook is obviously still the worst singer, so vote vote vote! We're shocked... she could ACTUALLY stay after that. Pretty funny how that works.
Kristy Lee Cook Previously Sang "God Bless the USA"
Kristy Lee Cook is Only a Train Wreck Because of Her Mentor
VFTW was the first site to tell you about this year's plants, including how Kristy Lee Cook was signed to Britney Spears' failed record label back in the day. Well E! Online found a picture of the two from the past. So that's where Kristy gets her train wreck sensibilities from! Hopefully our new VFTW pick will take some inspiration from her former mentor and shave her head before coming out wielding an umbrella and spitting her Starbucks latte all over the ground... or at least just give us the ridiculous performance we're hoping for this week.