Drupal

Just joining us for American Idol season 8? Just hearing about new judge Kara DioGuardi? Well, don't hold your breath hoping for an amazing songwriter to give opinions. While we're excited that we'll now have another judge with a coherent opinion (Paula and Randy clearly do not), Kara will be judging the Idol singers after having written songs such as:

Katharine McPhee - "Open Toes"
Almost every awful Ashlee Simpson song
Most of Kelly Osbourne's album
Lindsay Lohan - "Confessions of a Broken Heart" (and 15 other songs by her)
Paris Hilton - "I Want You", "Jealousy", "Screwed"
Pussycat Dolls - "Beep", "I Don't Need a Man"
Hilary Duff - "With Love", "Come Clean"
Gwen Stefani - "Rich Girl"
Britney Spears - "Ooh Ooh Baby", "Heaven on Earth"
Bo Bice - "The Real Thing"
Clay Aiken - "The Way"
David Archuleta - "To Be With You"
Ali Lohan's upcoming album

Simply terrible! So this woman is one of the reasons pop radio is unlistenable. Blame accordingly. She is also the co-owner of Arthouse Entertainment, which was produced crap like Jim Jones's "We Fly High", Nick Lachey's "What's Left of Me", and David Archuleta's "Crush". Why in the world would you pay her, knowing that she's been involved with so much awfulness?

Jackie Mendez is another failed contestant from that failed Idol clone show The One, just like Syesha Mercado last season. And yes, The One was the show where Kara DioGuardi was a judge. Wonder if Kara will pretend not to know Jackie when she makes it to Hollywood this year? Jackie even performed with Ricky Martin in the past and had a 5 year recoding contract with Elektra Records. Another day, another plant.

The Albany State Univeristy Marching Band's Golden Passionettes decided to pick a Katharine McPhee song with literally no melody to play and dance to. What the hell? "Open Toes" is a deliciously tacky train wreck, but this may be one of the most ridiculously awful and amazing things we have ever seen. Truly the definition of Vote for the Worst. And we have Kara DioGuardi to thank for writing this shitfest of a song.

Drunken mess Paula Abdul says she wants to leave American Idol after season 8. OK Magazine reports that Paula is leaving to work on other projects (aka she was fired so she can go to rehab). As if we didn't call this months ago, Idol must have brought in Kara DioGuardi to replace Paula to ease the transition. As much as we mock her, we're gonna miss Paula when she's gone. Who else will mess up the producers' script and reveal to us that the show is rigged? Kara better be a world class train wreck to replace the one that's leaving.

Well, looks like Idol made another mistake. According to the National Enquirer, newly hired 4th American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi was almost already fired. Turns out she's coming across as "stiff and wooden" and looked "terrible and amateurish" next to the other judges. Wow, she must really be terrible if the current judges made her look unprofessional. Randy can't even spell unprofessional and Paula sleeps with the contestants, thus she has no idea what the word means. Well, looks like we're in for another awful season.

Looks like the changes are already rolling in. It was just announced that a 4th judge will be joining Drunky, Man Boobs, and Incoherent on American Idol 8's panel. Just what we need... more inane comments from the peanut gallery. But maybe this one will be better. The new judge is Kara DioGuardi, a Grammy nominated songwriter who is reponsible for such travesties as Ashlee Simpson's Pieces of Me, Lindsay Lohan's Confessions of a Broken Heart, and Paris Hilton's I Want You among other song. AI is definitely keeping it in the family, as DioGuardi has written songs for many past Idols as well, such as Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken, Katharine McPhee, Bo Bice, and Taylor Hicks. DioGuardi also owns Arthouse Entertainment, which is responsible for David Archuleta's new song Crush. So what nickname will we come up with for Kara? What will we mock her for? And will anyone call her out on writing such terrible songs? Take your guesses in the comments.