Kara DioGuardi
"No Boundaries" Sucks So Much, It's Been Kicked Off the Tour
Kara DioGuardi Gets Married
Apparently someone wants to put up with her. Poor sap. Kara DioGuardi married Mike McCuddy on Sunday, and apparently inTouch Weekly wanted to be there and take pictures. Or the other important weddings that day sold exclusive rights to US Weekly so they got screwed. Kara told the magazine, "It's been raining in Maine for 60 days. The only day that was nice was [the day of the wedding]!" So a plague of rain for 60 days before Kara gets married and she still doesn't see it as a sign? We give it a week before Mike realizes he can do better (and we don't even know Mike... but he can clearly do better).
Kylie Minogue Wants To Kill Her Career
Kylie Minogue is planning to work with Kara DioGuardi and Paula Abdul on her next album. Kylie worked with both on her song "Spinning Around" in 2000. In other news, Kylie Minogue doesn't care that her career is going to die because Kara hasn't had a new idea since 2000 and Paula hasn't been sober since... ever.
Kara DioGuardi Becomes a Spokesperson for PETA
It's only fitting that the American Idol judge with a dogface became a spokesperson for the ethical treatment for dogs. Kara DioGuardi has signed up to help promote PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. This is an incredibly fitting endorsement, since PETA has a reputation for making stuff up when they have no idea what they're talking about, doing ridiculous things to get attention, and saying unintelligent things. So basically, Kara is the ideal spokesperson, as she perfectly embodies those traits. Good pick!
Kara DioGuardi Tries to Steal Adam Lambert's (Gay) Thunder
Kara DioGuardi, the girl no one would invite to their birthday party because she has cooties, has decided to start trumpeting on The View that Adam Lambert is definitely gay. Do people really still care about this? Seriously? Kara tells Barbara Walters in the episode set to air tomorrow, "I don't think that Adam [Lambert] was ever in [the closet]. I think he was always openly out." Kara, no one cares what you think or have to say. Remember? That's why you had such a bad time judging Idol this year.
So why do people still care that Adam is gay? Apparently Adam has been holding back because he's possibly getting a big, fat paycheck from Rolling Stone to announce it in a cover story in their next issue. As if it needs an announcement. When will Adam release his unsuccessful dance album so we can all forget about him like we have last year's runner up, What's His Face, and the year before's, Whozithuh?
Roseanne Barr = Best Idol Commentator Ever
Roseanne Barr blogged about the Idol finale, and it may be the best 2 paragraphs written about Idol ever. She calls Kara a tranny, says Idol watchers are idiots, and rips Simon Fuller a new asshole. Hilarious! We love her.
"the u.s. elections! it's all for show and has no substance, offensive homophobic sexist and hateful. the closeted gay guy who goes to church won over the gay guy who is "out".
simon fuller never tells the truth, because the truth is that simon fuller hates originality and talent, and only likes what is common and hack. That is what american record buyers support--same shit different day... the white guy who sings with an emotional catch in his voice that little girls can have safe romantic sexual fantasies about. FUCKIN pat boone YUCK! cancel this atrocious show. the new girl looks like a boy in her bikini...she probably has a dick too.
its all bullshit, just like everything else is all bullshit here, starting with that governor, an austrian closet case who hangs around with my ex husband who is a complete sociopathic LOON!"
Parents' Television Council is Angry at the Idol Finale
The idiots at the Parents' Television Council are mad about the Idol finale. What was there to be mad about? It was one of the more entertaining episodes of Idol in years. Apparently the PTC is angry that Kara DioGaurdi took her dress off, Bikini Girl made an appearance, and the Black Eyed Peas performed a song with swear words in it. Oh... we get it. They've gone blind because they saw Kara's nasty body, deaf because they listened to the Black Eyed Peads perform, and envious after seeing Katrina's new boobs. Yeah, we can see those points. Or they're just homely old shrews who need to get a life. One or the other.
Bikini Girl is Unhappy with Kara Upstaging Her at the Finale
We do have to admit, Kara was hideous to look at in a bikini, so we automatically take Bikini Girl's side.
Kara DioGuardi's masterpiece of crap "No Boundaries" was such an embarrassment that it was funny to see Kris Allen and Adam Lambert have to pretend to like the song during this year's Idol finale. Well people must have booed the song on tour, because now it's been completely removed according to the New York Post. Now Kris Allen is singing the Killers' "All These Things That I've Done" (above) instead. At least Kara's lame song will be taken out back and finally put out of its misery. RIP "No Boundaries", the worst Idol winner's song ever.