PeopleofWalmart.com, a brilliant website that chronicles the trashiest customers that frequent WalMart, posted an update today with a Clay Aiken decked out car. Yes, this was posted today. So some frau out there is still so obsessed with Clay Aiken, she drives around in this car. Well, we think it's a woman's car at least...
Did you hear? Adam Lambert was #2 on the Amazon.com best seller list with a pre-sale his album. This means... well, next to nothing because very few people pre-buy albums on Amazon. But according to Adam's delusional fans, otherwise known as the Sparkle Cows, this is the most incredible news in the history of music. Some of the comments:
"I am definitely a huge Beatles crazy fan, and have had all their albums for years and years. I'm feeling similar excitement for Adam"
"Adam is the most current worldwide iconic rockgod star this planet has ever seen! The Album, holy smokes, I already ordered 2 and the thing isn't even finished yet, no title and no picture!"
"Soon everyone will be strutting to the beat as Adam takes over the airwaves. It has been a long time since a musical phenomenon has occured, and we are long overdue."
But then one Sparkle Cow is angry that Adam's official site didn't publicize this trivial piece of knowledge sooner, giving us a glimpse into the entertainment value of angry Adam fans:
"Seriously,why AdamOfficial is the LAST to know EVERYTHING? Yeah,that article was put up there HOURS ago and about 4 hours ago Adam had already regained No2 on Amazon, so I am just wondering why the Adam team hasn't set out the news quicker. And since not every Adam fan, or to be precise, potential album buyers refresh their google "Adam Lambert:" search every five minutes, a newsletter informing people about the pre-order would be very beneficial. I mean, not a lot of people check fansites everyday, but most people check their email inbox daily. So, I really hope the team (management) can do its best to promote Adam to the world."
Here's a hint. Guess who else hit #1 in Amazon presales, and it ended up amounting to next to nothing (Scroll down to comment 14)? Yep, Adam Lambert will face a similar fate to Clay Aiken when his fans kill off his career by being overzealous and pissing off everyone by over-requesting his songs, yelling at his management, starting letter writing campaigns to anyone who would mock him, etc. It'll be a funny ride, so grab some popcorn.
Remember that story we posted about Adam Lambert being a diva (well it's like 2 posts down, so you should probably remember it)? Turns out it may have been planted by the idiot Claymates because they were mad that Adam was insulting Clay Aiken. I know, right? Clay Aiken still has fans! We'll sit back and grab popcorn while Adam and Clay's fans attack each other and look like morons. Entertainment value for years! Remember, these are all ugly, fat housewives who still think they can get into Clay and Adam's pants. That makes it all the better.
Clay Aiken blogged about Adam Lambert's loss, saying that he was happy because Adam was the perfect example of a professional who didn't need Idol to help his career. Clay wishes the show would go back to trying to find undiscovered talent instead of pimping proven failures like Carly Smithson (the Carly comparison is ours, not his. We just like to use her as a punching bag.) Clay blogged:
"The show was different then, and folks made it in seasons 1-3 because they were "real" people who happened to sing/entertain well. But, somewhere along the way, AI stopped being about real people.In a battle between David and Goliath, my money is on David!
I think many voters got sick of being "told who to vote for". I think many were turned off by the blatant favoritism shown towards one contestant. Therefore, on that last night, they used their votes against a contestant that they were tired of hearing about and for the contestant who had been written off. And, at the same time, I think they voted AGAINST an American Idol that has, for four years now, been more about the slick productions and polished contestants than it has been about finding the raw talent that it did in its first three seasons."
Preach it! Though Clay does leave out that he was pimped beyond belief at the expense of other contestants, just like Adam was. But does this make Clay Aiken a sort-of Worster?
You may remember that Clay Aiken fans killed his career by over-requesting his songs and annoying everyone with constant attacks to anyone who would speak poorly of Clay. The Claymates also attacked anyone who called him gay, which led to the ridiculous reaction they had when Clay outed himself last year. Now, Craig Hlavaty barely mentions Clay Aiken as having bad music in a Houston Press blog and the Claymates pounce! Most hilarious is that they accuse Craig of being homophobic. Silly, idiots! The best part is that after the few rabid fools are done, everyone mocks them relentlessly.
"Wow, looks like another person who likes to hate on someone else, this time, Clay Aiken, so that they can try to be funny. Since I love his singing, I guess beauty is in the "eye" of the beholder. And it looks like you have none. Evidently no ears either" - Brooke
"Don't you just hate these homophobic morons? I bet Craig never heard a single Clay Aiken's song in his life." - Jen
"Why in the world are you knocking Clay Aiken? Have you heard his music? I didn't think so! Clay is not only a great singer, he's also a consummate entertainer and a wonderful humanitarian. PLUS, it's no longer cool to diss Clay Aiken!" - Kit
Entertainment Weekly reports that Clay Aiken will be a guest on an April episode of America's Next Top Model for an acting challenge. Fierce! Maybe the stylists can help Clay with his unfortunate recent wardrobe choices. Clay will also be a guest judge on the panel. Hopefully he's a Worster and will help the overdramatic, whiny girl stick around for another week. Though we're such with Tyra's ego, Clay won't get to say much.
Let's see the frauen deny that Clay is gay now. He and his boyfriend Reed Kelly are seen here in promotional pictures for the closing of Spamalot. Clay is still looking tragic, but at least he's going to really piss off the homophobic Claymates with these pictures. Yay for Clay! He's so much more fun as an out gay man.
We're not sure where these pictures came from, but Clay Aiken is looking mighty hideous these days. Seriously, dude. You have an attractive boyfriend. You're out of the closet and living a good life with a new son. Why are you dressing and looking like one of your 45 year old deluded female fans? What is going on here?
ETA: Update, here's where the pictures came from.
Star Magazine is reporting that Clay Aiken is dating Broadway dancer Reed Kelly. The article says, "They even appeared together at Rosie O'Donnell's Building Dreams for Kids gala last month. 'It was obvious they were a couple,' a partygoers says." Good for Clay, he deserves some hot man sex after having to put up with the suffocation of frauen that makes up his fanbase. In other news, the frauen do not believe this news, saying that they will not believe it until it comes from Clay's own mouth. Remember what happened last time you said you wouldn't believe Clay was gay until he said it? Stupid, stupid frauen.
There's just too much good stuff. Here are most posts from around the internet of Clay Aiken's idiot fans reacting to Clay coming out of the closet.
"My dad was the first person to break the news to me when I came home from an errand this evening. As soon as the news reached my ears, the blood drained from my face and a literal rush of shock surged through my body. My face fell. For a few milliseconds I felt...nothing. Not long after that, I shut myself up in my room and wept silently, my heart breaking. This has all happened during a rough time in my life so that makes it all the more painful for me. I just...I don't know what to do. I'll probably never hear the end of it from my dad. Part of me still thinks this is all a dream, yet the whole of me knows it isn't. I will be withdrawing any financial support of him, as my beliefs do not condone his lifestyle. However, I will continue to pray for him and await further details on the situation."
"Clay has lied to me for five and a half years, telling me he is not gay, letting me think that lies were told about him in tabloids, etc.on and on. I loved Clay very much; but as hurt as I am right now, I do not like people who betray me, so I am gone, which will make some people happy, but I can no longer support a man I no longer admire. I think it is disgusting that Clay is having a "coming out" at the same time as announcing his son. Very poor timing -- just disgusting. Someday his son will see the cover of that magazine and find out how he was introduced to the world. Very sad. -- well, goodbye all.
