Adam Lambert
Adam Lambert's "Time for Miracles" Completely Falls Off the Billboard Hot 100
As if the #50 debut last week wasn't embarrassing enough, Adam Lambert's "Time for Miracles" has completely fallen off of the Billboard Hot 100 after 1 week. That's right, people hate the song so much, it just completely disappeared. Just goes to show the low #50 debut was completely due to Sparkle Cow purchases, as no one else buys Adam's music. Hate to say we told you so, but...
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Adam Lambert Already Has a New Boyfriend
That fast, huh? According to Star Magazine, Adam Lambert has moved on from Drake LaBry in a matter of minutes and has found himself a new man: singer/songwriter Ferras Alqaisi. You may remember Ferras because he sang that stupid song "Hollywood's Not America" that was featured in the Hollywood rounds of American Idol a few years back. Now, we're just waiting for the tell-all from Drake about what a loser Adam is. Come on, Drake. Open up to any media outlet you choose and spill.
Late Halloween Scare: Listen to Snippets of Adam Lambert's Upcoming Album
If Halloween didn't frighten you enough, Amazon has Adam Lambert's album preview up so you can experience a new form of horror. The lowlights are the hilariously bad "Music Again", campy "Strut", terribly cheesy Broadway sounding "Soaked", and his ridiculous sounding vocals on "Fever". Adam's voice sounds absolutely horrendous on the ballads, which are by far the weakest tracks in the previews. We can say though that the album clearly has higher production values than the standard Idol rush job. And tracks like "Sleepwalker" and "Whataya Want From Me" would blend in easily to top 40 radio (if you can consider that a compliment). But will anyone be able to look past the stupid album cover to even listen to the music? Adam better count his lucky stars that people can now download the album anonymously or he'd have negative sales the first week.
Adam Lambert and Drake LaBry Split Up
Apparently, Adam Lambert has broken up with his boyfriend, Drake LaBry. Even though Drake didn't seem like much of a catch, bad move on Adam's part. He's probably believing the hype about himself and sees himself as a "sex symbol" who can have his pick of men. So we feel we need to step in and do what we do best here. No one with any taste would fantasize about a crater-faced, Liza Minnelli looking, double-chinned Twilight impersonator with a terrible haircut. It's our job to put Adam back in his place so he retains a realistic outlook on life. See, and people say we don't do anything positive. (News via MJ's Big Blog)
Adam Lambert - "For Your Entertainment" Premieres
Well here's Adam Lambert's "official" single. Top 40 radio might possibly embrace this because it's so cookie cutter. His voice is so processed, anyone could be singing this. The song sounds like something Britney Spears was offered, but she passed on it because it was too cheesy. Except for the awful screaming in the bridge... that's just pure Adam. Guess we'll see what happens next.
Let the Failures Begin: Adam Lambert Debuts at a Pathetic #50 On the Hot 100
Every year, American Idol contestants debut near the top of the Billboard Hot 100 chart with their new singles. For example, David Archuleta's "Crush" debuted at #2. Even "Light On" by David Cook debuted at #17. Adam Lambert's "Time for Miracles", however, debuted at #50. That's pretty pathetic. This is clearly due to the fact that no one will play this song on the radio since it's so cliche and terrible. Will Adam's next single do any better? Doubtful.
Sparkle Cows React to the Travesty of Adam Lambert's Album Cover
After seeing Adam Lambert's hilariously ugly album cover (see the post below this one), the Sparkle Cows are producing some hilarious reactions. While you laugh at arguably the worst Idol album cover of all time, also laugh at these comments from Adam's fans from his official website:
"I don't like it at all! he looks like a woman! no, no, no....very dissapointed..."
"Is this REALLY the cover? Of all the gorgeous pictures Adam has taken, I can't undertand why this was selected for his debut album...he looks like a woman, not the handsome man he really is. I'm so disappointed!"
"You wanted contraversy, well you got it! This is way to femine for me too. Is it air brushed? Are you naked? You are holding you face as a woman would. All that is good about this, is that it is not the Michelin Man suit! That doesn't look like a Rock God. I still love your singing, your personality, and those other looks."
"Okay...honestly...I LOVE Adam...I really do...but why so femmy?! It's like a bad Cher photo shoot from the 80's! WOW. Just...WOW."