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| afraidofpop |
 Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:31 pm |
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Naomi-Joy Blackhall
Joined: 22 May 2006
Posts: 379
Location: Philadelphia, PA
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You know, I haven't felt compelled to share my story until I saw your last post, Dave. But since it's for a good cause (exposing AI for the shitstorm that it really is), I'll 'fess up.
I auditioned in East Rutherford on August 14. I had my notebook with me. I wrote down everything, and when I got home, I typed it. I copied and pasted this directly from my journal, so please accept my apologies for the length.
August 14, 2006 - 6:13 AM
I've now been in line outside the stadium for an hour. Maybe more. I'm surrounded by people. Thousands. Doesn't exactly instill hope, but it seems like all these sixteen year old girls are trying to stay positive. Also, apparently there's a release form that I need. Hopefully I can get one inside. To my right is a tall girl on a very tiny chair. I'm amused. In front of me sits a girl with white sunglasses and a gray hoodie. She is accompanied by a guy whose sole purpose seems to be applying, reapplying, and touching up her makeup. To my left, my long-suffering brother Kevin sits playing Street Fighter on his cell phone. Loudly. Trying to tell him to turn down the volume is useless. To his left is a young Asian couple. No idea which of them is auditioning. Wait. Judging by the color of the bracelets, it's the girl.
Yesterday, registration took 90 seconds. Seriously. After we did that, we tried to check into our hotel early. Didn't work. Wasted time at the diner next door instead. Looking around, I see girls everywhere, most of them with perfect makeup and nails. I feel horribly out of place, but sort of apathetic about that. My iPod is on, playing Soggy Bottom Boys. Kevin stood up to survey the madness.
Now he's talking to some guy in line who has a band in Harrisburg. Apparently, they're building quite the fanbase. Serving The Industry, they're called. I haven't heard of them. Mike (guy that Kevin is talking to) sings lead for them. And he's divorced. With children. Interesting. He seems very nice, but he looks sort of boring.
I'm singing "Saturday Night" by the Misfits. I'm not about to pretend that I can imitate Christina Aguilera. Plus, Michale Graves' voice just so happens to fit my register. It's now 6:27 AM. I'll write more when I get inside and can actually see shit. Whenever that is.
8:30 AM
I got my release form and now I'm in my seat. This guy on the arena floor - this fucking ringleader - is talking talking talking blah blah blah. Apparently, we're supposed to be learning "Can't Smile Without You" by Barry Manilow. I feel like I'm in goddamn Disneyland. And on top of that, I don't want to fucking sing until I FUCKING HAVE TO.
Looks like there will be judges' booths set up all over the floor of the arena. Maybe 12 or so? Auditioners go up four at a time. They're already organizing people by section and row. Goddamnit, my section is 128, and they're starting with 101. Christ. Anyhow, people file out onto the floor, they're grouped by fours, and then they're sent to a table where they stand in a row in front of the judges. Already I can see tables with five rows of four in front of them. Then the judges point at auditioners, one at a time, and the person comes up to the table and gets fifteen seconds to perform. After that, the judges wave them back into their line, and the next person steps up. At the end of all four performances, they choose one person to go on. How the bleeding hell do they decide in fifteen seconds if you're good enough? How does anyone make it on this show?
Wait a second. They don't choose one person from every group of four to go on. That guy who explained the procedure LIED. Or at the very least, he gave a shitty example. I just saw six groups of four people walking down into the loser section.
I'm listening to the people at the booth closest to me. It's now 9:20. There's a girl singing "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." She's kinda cute, in a very young way. Short dark hair, dressed like every American Eagle model I have ever seen, and ... now she's done. Two more people after her. Some guy. Kind of lanky. Can't hear him at all. And another girl. Can't hear her either. White Whitney deserves it; she's got that ready-made package look about her. And ... they passed on all of them. Whoa.
Another group stepped up. Two guys in this group. Oh no. The first guy is singing "Invisible." What the hell. Just go home now, dude. You've embarrassed yourself enough. On top of picking what is possibly the lamest song anyone will sing today, his first two notes were rather flat. Whatever. Second guy ... can't hear him either. Bummer. He's hot, though. Kind of looks like that virgin guy from the second season of The Real World. An updated version, that is. And here comes Mandisa 2.0. Holy Jesus, she's amazing. "I'm Your Baby Tonight." More Whitney. Big surprise. But she pulls it off and then some. WOW. The arena is applauding. Everyone could hear her. The girl next to her is shaking her head in wonder. And then it's her turn. Interesting ... she's singing Sinead O'Connor. Or Prince, depending on how you look at it. OHMYGOD THEY PASSED ON ALL OF THEM. The arena boos. Man, what the fuck. I gotta stop for a few minutes, because I'm pissed off and my hand hurts.
11:08 AM
These seats suck.
Wow, someone's busting out some Mariah Carey-style high notes at one of the booths. The entire stadium just burst into applause. As uncomfortable as this place is, the acoustics sure are badass. Looks like she made it through. About freakin' time somebody made it through.
12:30 PM
Dear Lord. Here are a few of the wonderful/horrible/bizarre things I have seen so far today.
1. Random groups of people assembled in the hall, singing "Killing Me Softly," various classic R&B songs that I can't name, and assorted hymns. Usually centered around three people harmonizing, then joined by passersby.
2. People singing at walls. Mostly doors to maintenance/storage rooms, actually. And really, they're not singing, they're SCREAMING.
3. People sleeping in their seats (I'm looking at YOU, Kevin).
4. Everybody in the hall walking around and singing. Some with iPods, some with no guidance at all. Walking among them makes me feel as though I've just stepped into an opera (because I hear no actual speech), but nobody is performing the same opera. It's musical schizophrenia.
5. Many of the best singers I've ever heard who don't currently have record deals being cut, right and left.
So far, if I had to guess, less than 100 people have received passes to go forward into the next round. And there were easily 10,000 contestants to begin with. How sad. Even sadder - apparently, this round does not lead you to the big three judges. You still need to get through one more round, which takes place later this week somewhere in the city.
Holy shit, that guy that Kevin and I were talking to in line got a ticket. I woke up Kevin to point him out. He told Kev his band has a MySpace (who the fuck doesn't?), so I'll have to message him when we get home. (Looks like it could be awhile.)
I'm hungry. So I'm having some blueberry coffeecake that I stole from work. Also, that guy we met in line? His ringtone was "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough." That was cool and for some reason, it just popped into my head. I hope he makes it far. He seemed pretty together.
I'm tired. And my foot is asleep. When I get out of here, I'm going to drink.
2:58 PM
My section is going to get called next. And finally, I spoke to a few of the people sitting around me. The girl sitting to my right is hot as balls in a country-girl-next-door sort of way. The two girls to my left are a lot less cute. They seem a little nervous. One of them is talking shit on Beyonce's new single. Well, her new single may not be that great, but "Crazy In Love" was one badass motherfucking pop masterpiece.
Looking back down to the booths ... the booth closest to me is not letting ANYBODY through. Same booth that passed on both of the good Whitney chicks from earlier.
4:56 PM
Well, it's over. I was the last in my group to sing, and I did "Saturday Night" by the Misfits. The girl next to me sang "Something To Talk About" by Bonnie Raitt. I don't remember what the other two girls sang, only that the first girl sucked. Second girl was good, though. Well, regardless, they passed on all of us.
One last thing before I go, though. While I was in my group waiting to be called, I saw that on all of the judges' tables, there was a clipboard full of golden tickets. And then the booth to my left gave a golden ticket to some Asian kid and he ran away screaming for joy. But here's the kicker - that must have been the last ticket they had, because their clipboard was empty. And they continued to let people audition at their booth. And while I was watching, they passed on every single one of the next four groups, and didn't say a word about being out of tickets. That. Is. Bullshit. It was so obvious!! How could anyone not see this and call them out? If it had been my booth, I don't know that I could have kept my mouth shut.
Well, anyway ... I guess it's time for me to resume a normal existence. We have a two hour drive home and I have to navigate. I'm out. |
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| Lianimal |
| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:58 am |
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Mark Day
Joined: 21 May 2006
Posts: 6219
Location: No longer at this address
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 sounds like everyone who went to your judges table was  |
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| Quossum |
| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:22 pm |
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Dances like Taylor
Joined: 21 May 2006
Posts: 2302
Location: The Great State of Texas
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^^^ Interesting. It sounds like each city / table can only give out so many tickets...yet they don't want to NOT let people audition. I wonder what they'd do if the table was out of tickets and then up steps "the perfect" contestant? (However that's defined for them...)
--Q |
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| Miranda |
| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 3:38 pm |
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Bitch Macdonald
Joined: 21 May 2006
Posts: 295
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I had a good friend audition who is a great singer!
Of course, he didn't make it past the first round of auditions. Some girl judge said he had a good voice, but he wasn't sexy enough.
I know that a lot of you hate Ruben out here, but he was part of the Ruben Studdard music camp. Ruben himself told my friend that he was the best singer of the group.
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| thefunnystone |
| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 4:49 pm |
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I Run This Joint!
Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 23602
Location: Causing Trouble
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Not sexy enough? Well okay, I guess you're right, since Idol produced sex symbols like Justin Guarini, Jim Verraros, Ruben Studdard, Clay Aiken, George Huff, Matt Rogers, John Stevens, Scott Savol, Anthony Fedorov, Kevin Covais, Bucky Covington, Elliott Yamin, Taylor Hicks, EJay Day, Corey Clark... need I continue? ;)
Idol has had MAYBE two or three questionably good looking guys in its entire run. If that.  |
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| Taamane |
| Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 3:36 pm |
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Bobby Bennett
Joined: 22 May 2006
Posts: 452
Location: Stir-fried-crazy
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Quossum wrote: ^^^ Can I even express to you the depths of my despair when I realized that the book that Taylor's "writing" is going to be some "Chicken Soup for the Soul Patrol's Soul" crock of shit rather than a "What I Saw Chris and Ace Doing Backstage at AI" type expose?
--Q
I think I  a little on both counts ... |
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| realpoizen |
| Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 3:39 pm |
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Boomquisha
Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Posts: 2634
Location: In transition...
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| i've noticed Taylor is very good at exploiting his pathetic fans. :woo CASH MONEY HOS! |
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| Lianimal |
| Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:23 pm |
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Mark Day
Joined: 21 May 2006
Posts: 6219
Location: No longer at this address
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realpoizen wrote: i've noticed Taylor is very good at exploiting his pathetic fans. :woo CASH MONEY HOS! 
He's Dorky
He's Spastic
He's fun to watch
But he's SO far from what they wanted......
I like him, I really do! But he's not going to sell anywhere NEAR what Farmbot or Kelly Clarkson have |
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| ohsnap |
| Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:37 pm |
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Anthony Suckorov
Joined: 22 May 2006
Posts: 1369
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| fishdude |
| Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:49 pm |
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Cher Maendel
Joined: 23 May 2006
Posts: 417
Location: the beach
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Can anyone sing "Cold Hearted Snake"?
Wonderful....you're going to nowhere
Quote: Not sexy enough? Well okay, I guess you're right, since Idol produced sex symbols like Justin Guarini, Jim Verraros, Ruben Studdard, Clay Aiken, George Huff, Matt Rogers, John Stevens, Scott Savol, Anthony Fedorov, Kevin Covais, Bucky Covington, Elliott Yamin, Taylor Hicks, EJay Day, Corey Clark... need I continue?
No, you've made it perfectly clear that whoever you are defending is really and truly a dog. "wooof...woof...wooof" |
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| kimtastic |
| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:34 pm |
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Jon Peter Lewis
Joined: 21 May 2006
Posts: 1554
Location: philly.
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I just watched that whole thing. It was kind of dissapointing that she didn't make it. But, it further proves the point that talent means nothing. |
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| Dissgirl |
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 6:35 am |
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Brandon Jones
Joined: 21 May 2006
Posts: 2523
Location: In Hell
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| geezwhatsleft |
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:48 am |
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Mikalah Gordon
Joined: 22 May 2006
Posts: 2100
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From the comments posted after the Pensacola article:
Quote: Pensacola Produces some really good people and talent unlike that of the last idol winner who should've lost. Not to mention P'cola is home to famous athletes and other well known people, including the ORIGINAL Lurch from the original Adams Family, which not many people know that.
I don't know if my favorite part is about Lurch (who the hell cares?) or the grammar of the last 6 words. |
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| ss794 |
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:39 am |
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Rex Goudie
Joined: 22 May 2006
Posts: 526
Location: In the basement, of the Alamo.
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I've read that they have people continue to audition, even though there are no tickets so they can't be sued. They should have a disclaimer that says when we run out of yellow tickets than the auditions are over.
The 3 judges better not bitch this year about not finding talent. It is the producers fault for passing up so much talent.
This should be the supreme year of VFTW. We can recruit the angry rejected from the AI boards. |
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| geezwhatsleft |
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:42 am |
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Mikalah Gordon
Joined: 22 May 2006
Posts: 2100
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| I cannot imagine a better year than last year. Taylor, McTatas, Kelley, PWE, Kevin, Ace--so much VFTW fodder. Can it really get better? |
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| thefunnystone |
| Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:12 am |
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I Run This Joint!
Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 23602
Location: Causing Trouble
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Can anyone here find the article or interview with a person who said that they didn't try out in front of Paula/Simon/Randy, that it was just for Nigel and the producers, but the judges were edited in later with reactions to make it look like they were there. I believe this came out during season 4, but it could have been 5 too, and I REALLY need it for the article I'm writing.
It's turning out really good and I'm going to try to use some of the stuff you guys posted here too. |
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| Nigel Lies |
| Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 2:47 pm |
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Kevin Covais
Joined: 21 May 2006
Posts: 3431
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I thought MJ's blog linked to a report by that one guy from Season 4 who was a dweeb who worked in a movie theater and claimed that they edited Paula, Randy and Simon into his audition. I think MJ might've covered that girl who swore up a blue streak at the start of AI5--she claimed she never saw The Three Stooges.
Some of the "crazy auditioners" have also accused the show of screwing them over, but I don't know if they should be believed. I'm thinking of orange-tanned Crystal P., Rhonetta and Mary Roach's (she had a Web site that tells her side of the story).
Quote: I cannot imagine a better year than last year. Taylor, McTatas, Kelley, PWE, Kevin, Ace--so much VFTW fodder. Can it really get better?
We can only pray. If they keep turning away the talent, our odds are pretty good. And yes, we definitely need to recruit the embittered auditioners on the Scary Boards--PM them if you have to.
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| thefunnystone |
| Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 3:49 pm |
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I Run This Joint!
Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 23602
Location: Causing Trouble
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I'm using tan Crystal in the article, because she talks about how the producers told her to put on more makeup on purpose and stuff like that.
I'll check out MJ's for that article, thanks. |
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| thefunnystone |
| Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 6:24 pm |
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I Run This Joint!
Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 23602
Location: Causing Trouble
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| MJ's blog only goes back to Nov '05, is there an older one somewhere? |
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| Ms.Tina |
| Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:33 pm |
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Banned
Joined: 23 May 2006
Posts: 6916
Location: BANNED!
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thefunnystone wrote: I'm using tan Crystal in the article, because she talks about how the producers told her to put on more makeup on purpose and stuff like that.
I just remember dying with laughter every time  "your tan". The British accent just intensified the bitchiness of everything.
That girl skeezed me out. And her mom? That was so fucking staged. |
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