Last night hubby and I went to a Dodgers game. Another loss. We’re 0 for 2 so far when seeing them live. Boo and sadness. Interestingly, although the baseball was underwhelming, we were not short of entertainment last night. Let me ’splain you.

So Tommy Lasorda (or, um, some marketing geek saying he’s Tommy Lasorda) sent us an email enticing us to buy “preferred field box” seats for more than half off. Normally they go for $70 and the offer was for $30. The field level has been renovated since we last sat there years ago and we were intrigued to sit in the little 4-seat bench area with our own tray for food and stuff. We pulled the trigger.

When we got there, however, the usher told us that our seats were NOT one of the neato bench boxes with the shelves, but actually the last row on the field level, under the overhang. Disappointing, but at least we were on the aisle seats.

Those aisle seats turned out to be a major character in this story.

About 10 minutes before the game started, my husband poked me in the arm and whispered, “David Cook! Coming up the aisle! Right now!” {My hubby kindly allows me to have a crush on American Idol winner David Cook. I think he finds it amusing.}

Sure enough, brushing right past my arm on the aisle seat comes Cookie, wearing a green “KC” hat and looking EXACTLY like he does on TV, scruffy beard and all. Dude, I was flabbergasted. I am ashamed to say that I tried to smell the air in his wake. (All I got was eau de bodyguard.) His seats were, ironically, right down the aisle from us in the boxes we thought we’d be in.

Cook’s girlfriend / date / we’re-just-hanging-out-chick, Kimberly Caldwell, however, provided much more of an aromatic show for us. (Cough.) She sang the National Anthem before the game and performed adequately. The beginning was “very pitchy” (I cringed) but she got on track halfway through and finished competently. Not the best anthem I’ve heard by a long shot, but also not the worst.

David behaved graciously during the game. He was asked for photos and autographs at nearly every half-inning break. (All these people went by me on their way down to see him.) He obliged them all with a smile and no hint of resentment.

Kim, on the other hand… not so much. I had no idea who she was until my husband explained that she hosts something on the TV Guide channel and had been on Idol a few years back. I just thought she was some BLEEP with a bad weave. (And yes, her hair extensions are awful, obvious, choppy.) She was NOT pleasant to fans. She seemed to resent the attention that David was getting. When she was in her seat next to him (a cumulative 30 minutes for the entire game), she felt the need to police who got access to him.

She came past me up the aisle many times. The first time, she was expressing surprise and outrage to her Dodger stadium escort that smoking is not allowed anywhere in the stadium seats. (Has this chick even been ANYWHERE in California?) Later, when she came up the aisle for another of her smoking breaks (I could smell the cigarette smoke on her 3 rows before and after she passed my chair), two little boys asked if they could have a picture with her. Her response was, “No! I’m not working today!” and brushed past them in a huff.

Holy moly.

In direct contrast, I urged two little girls and their father to go down between innings toward the end of the game and get his picture. They waited through the entire top of the 7th and when he saw them standing there, he grinned and stepped right up for the picture. Their dad high-fived me on the way back, thanking me for my help.

The last highlight of the baseball game was a bench-clearing brawl. I’ve never seen one live. The crowd’s reaction was more intense than I expected. I was glad the players had no sharp weapons because the crowd wanted blood.

The Dodgers lost 3-0 to the Rockies but I definitely had a memorable evening.

I just thought she was some BLEEP with a bad weave.

Probably smells like Brut 33 and beef jerky. And farts.

Caught this blog post over at the scary boards. Just proves the Cook is with Skankwell for the pussy...

Oh, I can believe this story. I always thought Kim was attractive but she looks like she could be both bitchy and slutty. I guess after rooming with Jason Cook is used to inhaling second hand smoke but cigarette smoke isn't nearly as enticing as pot smoke.

Last year TV Guide sent Skankwell and Guarini out to Idol tour venues to promote the the network's Idol programming.

Can you imagine the Cooktard meltdown if that happens again this year?