Professor Chan's blog
It's the Final Results Show... Thank God
American Idol Season 7 (Yawn!) Finals
What’s with the lame Rocky theme music and boxing pun-work? This is one of the wussiest, least masculine shows, and this is one of the wussiest, least masculine American Idol finals. And that includes Fantasia Vs. Diana DeGarmo. Why don’t the Producers take some of that Jim Lampley/Michael Buffer money and spend it on some new songs? Do the average Idol fans even know who these guys are? Also, just when this show needs to do it’s best to be taken seriously they dress up the Davids in ridiculous boxing gloves and trunks and turn the whole thing into a huge joke.
Oh, and one more joke… More people aged 65 and over watch Idol than people 18-24. And ratings are down with the young’uns as well. How is that for pop music relevancy… Whoo!
Random Idol Thoughts for Final 3.
--Man, Paula was on point during the performance show. I guess she waited until AFTER the show to get loaded, suck down a vial of vicodin and bone the contestants. She actually made good points, and completed her sentences. See, it's easier to judge them when you admit that they sucked, isn't it Paula?
--Was that the most Fast-Forwarable Results show? Big surprise, David Vs. David. I could’ve skipped the ENTIRE SEASON from Final 12 on.
--Is the title of Fantasia’s new song, “Bore Me” a critique on this season? Because that’s how I feel. The theme for Season 7 was Boring with a capital “BORING.”
Idol Final Three: We Couldn't Pick Worse Songs If We Tried
Finally the gloriously bad Idol episode that we’ve all been waiting for. All sorts of musical attrocities were committed, including a song sung by penguins and a love song about a giant meteor. Yes!!! I loved it.
Everyone got in the spirit tonight. Simon was on-point all night, including picking the ONLY decent song of the evening for David Cook. Paula was actually sober and coherent, making strong points about the singing and performances, as if her job depended on her, you know, judging the damn show. Seacrest making his unfunny non-jokes and Randy spending the whole evening trying to stroke his own ego. That was some episode. Oh, and Lloyd from “Entourage” was in attendance. Good stuff.
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Idol Final 4: Ditto, what Dave said.
Seacrest ponderously announces that the Idols will be singing two songs from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame list of all-time great rock songs. “Maybe one of them will end up in the Hall some day” muses Ryan. Eh, maybe not, dude.
After a lively discussion of what is wrong with Idol here at VFTW, I think we can all agree on one point. What if they took away all the lies and the money-grubbing and humiliation of delusional contestants, and just made the show into a singing competition?
What is so wrong about a nation-wide search for the best undiscovered talent in America? Oh, right. Because this..............................................................
Is American Idol... How could I forget?
Random Idol Thoughts
Random Idol Thoughts
Paula-Gate 2008 is growing in intensity… well it is for us at VFTW, I think the typical teeny-booper (misspelling was unintentional, but funnier) Idol fans still don’t give a rip that their show is broken this season.
Paula’s AI apologists have come out of the wood-work. “Oh, it’s just Paula, she made a mistake. It’s live TV.” Heck, I even made a bone-headed typo writing about it.
Idols Final 5: Cracklin' Paula
“Relentless Musical Force” Neil Diamond (to quote Seacrest) is our mentor this week, a week that had strong potential for VFTW bad-goodness. The producers started the ball rolling by presenting Diamond’s starring role in the horrible, misguided remake of “The Jazz Singer”, as a success! That’s like saying “Carly Smithson’s album was beloved by hundreds.”
The Idols had to learn and perform TWO songs each this week. Add in Neil’s cornball lyrics, bullfrog croak of a voice and penchant for shiny shirts... Musical crimes were going to be committed tonight. I mean, this is the guy who seriously wrote a song about E.T. ,”Turn on Your Heart-light.” How could this NOT be a VFTW suck-stravaganza?
Random Idol Thoughts
Random Idol Thoughts.
-- Two days later and it is STILL funny. I was convinced that Syesha was going home. I stood up and cheered when The Plant bit the dust. That was awesome.
-- Every time a favorite goes home early and someone stays after a terrible performance, it just validates everything we stand for at VFTW. If this show was really about giving the best performance week after week then Brooke or Jason goes home, no questions. Plantson gave one of her best performances Tuesday, so naturally she goes home.
American Idol 7 Crowns It’s Champion. Hooray.
Tonight the two Davids share the stage with all the other Idol losers one last time... before 3 months of Idol stage tour concerts. If Boxing Night didn’t kill off their dignity tonight sure did. It was a night of bad singing, bad dancing, and bad product plugging. It was gloriously horrible and tacky, and it was also pretty freaking entertaining. Either that or the half-quart of Red Bull and Night Train did it's job.
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So much to talk about... I think I’ll do it in my popular Random Thoughts stream of consciousness style which is heavy on punchlines, but light on filler.