Random Idol Thoughts for Final 3.



--Man, Paula was on point during the performance show.  I guess she waited until AFTER the show to get loaded, suck down a vial of vicodin and bone the contestants.   She actually made good points, and completed her sentences.  See, it's easier to judge them when you admit that they sucked, isn't it Paula?

--Was that the most Fast-Forwarable Results show?  Big surprise, David Vs. David.  I could’ve skipped the ENTIRE SEASON from Final 12 on.

--Is the title of Fantasia’s new song, “Bore Me” a critique on this season?   Because that’s how I feel.  The theme for Season 7 was Boring with a capital “BORING.”  

--One thing you CANNOT say about Fantasia’s performance last night was that it was boring.  Lots of words apply.  Over-the-top.  Ear-shredding.  Funky.  Misguided hair.  Gutsy.  Entertaining.  For whole stretches it seemed like Fantasia was channeling Tina Turner, which is not a bad idea, really.  Fantasia would’ve won THIS season, too.  
 
--I have to admit I accidentally skipped Fantasia's performance, but I watched it on youtube this morning.  I skipped the whole results show actually, except for the tension-free booting of Syesha.  I can't emphasize more how Idol BADLY needs to get a whole lot better next season.  All you have to do is hear about something good happening on a show you didn't watch and you can see it the next day.  No need to worry about missing a thing, despite what Diane Warren and Aerosmith will have you believe.  There's plenty about this season I wish I missed.

--The INTERNETS is to blame!  The lamest excuse I've heard for Idol's plummeting ratings is "because of the Writer's Strike."  How does that even make sense?  If anything, Idol's ratings should go UP with nothing else on TV.  Does 99% of America even know that the writer's went on strike?  Certainly the Idol Teeny-Boopers don't give a rip.

--Entertainment Weekly wrote a pretty good article about how to fix Idol.
Here: http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20007164_20171835_20199038,00.html
Maybe if there is enough noise then the Producers actually WILL make changes.  Fingers crossed.  

 

--I'm done giving the Idol Producers really good ideas.  If the show sucks next season it's not for my lack of trying.

--Okay, you twisted my arm.  One more, idea for improving Idol.  Make it REALLY about the singing... Give all of the Idols 3 minutes for their songs.  I know, if someone sucks in 90 seconds, imagine how terrible they'll be in 180...  Yeah, exactly.  VFTW nirvana.

But here's the truly brilliant part...  You get rid of the awful results show and replace it with the second night of performances.  Each night you could announce the losers on a 5 minute segment of the Fox Local News.  You have the same number of TV hours and you get the Finals results, but they're all performance hours.  No filler.

--When the singers dwindle to around 6, THEN you could start doing a results show.  But by then we'd only have to suffer through 5 crappy sing-along numbers, 5 crappy Ford commercials, and 5 embalmed has-been musical legends "teaching" the Idols how to be current and relevent.  Or better yet, kill the Idol Medleys AND car commercials and just have Idols from the Past perform to shame the newbies.  

------

So, I'm conducting an impromptu poll.  What kinds of things do you guys and girls, the VFTW faithful want me to write about?  If anything.  I mean, I could take a vacation, too.  That's cool by me.

By the way, you guys rock.  You make this whole kooky VFTW experiment fun.

And for the record I don't think I can write about "Dancing For Quarters(So You Think You Can Dance)" because I don't know anything about dancing, I can't really write about it in an entertaining way, and I don't want to suffer through Nigel Lithgoe being a smug prick on my TV set for 3 months.  Oh, and "America's Got Talent" blows, too.  Sorry but I can't put myself through that one again.

So I'll take any suggestions you guys have.

See you next week for the American Idol Finale Suck-Stravaganza.  It should be umm, long!

--Chan

__________________________

Professor Chan For Questions, Comments, Fan Mail -- 

vftwchan @ gmail.com

NuMu350
May 15, 2008 - 12:14pm

Mantasia frightens children...and fellow gorillas.


mastahG
May 15, 2008 - 12:15pm

The bloom is definitely off the AI juggernaut after this awesomely craptastic season. About the only singer I found interesting was Asia Epperson and she was booted months ago.
The rest of the "Best 12 Ever" were, for the most part, decidely untalented/boring, or, decidedly unlikeable (ie: the smarmy David Cook).

I can't imagine anyone actually buying tickets to see this year's Idol tour. They couldn't pay me enough to endure listening to this dreadful crew again. Argghh........


torgman
May 15, 2008 - 12:27pm

If I could go through the rest of my life without ever seeing that damned screaming banshee and her goofy squatiing chicken dance again...


whattheheck
May 15, 2008 - 12:32pm

If it wasn't for Jason, I would have stopped watching a long time ago. I usually have at least a few of the 12 finalists that I enjoy seeing or hearing each week because I like the way they sing and perform, not because they are ridiculous. I fast forward over most of the result shows. Honestly, what does Idol think people want to see? Completely ridiculous Ford commercials? Bad call-in and uncomfortable Q & A's? And PLEASE, stop with the hour long result shows that can be done in 15 minutes. Then, they end up going overtime and cutting off the end of the show if you record it on a DVR. That is probably what they want.

Honestly, put a fork in it, it's done.


salem21
May 15, 2008 - 12:34pm

Great recap and good ideas about saving the show. You are an excellent writer.

They are going to have to come up with some changes for next year. Check out this blog- this guy has an interesting take on why the show sucked this year - http://www.kingfishmedia.com/thinktank/


magooish
May 15, 2008 - 12:50pm

What, no "On the Lot" this summer? No other trainwreck TV on the horizon?
Magooish is sad :(

There's always the Presidential election Prof. Chan. You could write about the various speeches each candidate gives and rank them much like the Idols. Or at least you could rate the convention speakers, that would be worthwhile. You know at least one or two moments in each convention are going to be VFTW worthy.

Magooish

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Scott Baio
May 15, 2008 - 12:51pm

So I had a lame Idol experience last night, even lamer than usual, I mean. My ladyfriend does not get home from work until after 8 pm, at which point we usually eat dinner, chat, and mentally prepare ourselves for the soul-crushing night of Idol ahead. This also allows the DVR to give us enough buffer to skip through the commercials and unbearable guest performances.

Well, we recently bought a monster plasma TV and picked up an HD cable box to go with it, and I mistakenly set the cable box to go straight to Fox when it powers on. Well, we turn on the TV at about 8:55 pm to watch Idol on the DVR, and oops! It powers on to the live Fox broadcast and we see Ryan consoling Syesha for going home.

At that point, I told my girlfriend, "Okay, just erase it. We already know what happens." But she insisted on watching anyway. Then she refused to let me watch the Fantasia performance, so I had to catch it later on Youtube. Lame!

Anyway, Chan, I would like to add to your suggestion about making Idol truly a singing show again. I think I have a brilliant twist to it that would actually draw tons of viewers. Eliminate all of the audition process and Hollywood week crap and start with the top 12. Here's the genius part. Make all of the Idols perform in masks. Don't reveal their names, just refer to them as Contestant #1, #2, etc. This will make their voices the only thing that makes one stand out from another. Eliminate all the fluff such as the group performances and the Ford commercials. Keep all 12 contestants in the competition until the end. Then, at the season finale, tally up all of the votes for the season and reveal how the top 12 ranked in order from last to first, with each removing their masks and revealing their identity to the world.

That's a show I would watch.

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pat
May 15, 2008 - 12:53pm

Wow! Fantasia's performance. I'm stunned...like Simon.
What can I say, Jasmine should have won season 3 then. Would have been a VFTW victory!


Rhia
May 15, 2008 - 1:05pm

My opinion of why it sucked so bad this yr? Excessive judge pimping. I can understand the judges having favorites, really I can. But they should not be allowed to give their favorites an easy ride. They did that all fricking yr w/Gaspy , Randy was particularly obnoxious about it. They're judges, not bloody cheerleaders.

Dump some of the theme night things or make them a bit more open. Most of the songs this crew got stuck singing were older than they are. And an Andrew Lloyd Webber night on a show where being called 'Broadway' is not a good thing? Lame on their part.

The product placement thing is overrunning everything else. I get that this show makes money. And it's all about money to some of them, but sheesh plugging iTunes, Coke, Ford and AT&T throughout the show is a total turnoff. Give some content w/the pitch folks.

Cut the results shows back to half an hr. An hr of filler when really only the last 5 minutes mean anything is just shitty TV.

Oh and next yr? Don't stack the deck with a load of plants like they did this yr. Did they not realise we'd find out? Google is a good thing. I can understand that because the higher end of the age limit being 28, there will be experienced singers auditioning. If you want the career in music you're going to work at it. But hell no more Carlyplants please. She had the major shot that tanked. It tanked for a reason. Something about her is very offputting. I couldn't stand to watch her and all her lies.

That's pretty much what I think they should do, especially the first one. Those judges NEED to stop giving their personal favorites free rides. If they can't be fairer, since all they are giving is opinions, then they need to be replaced. I know not gonna happen.


Weenrocks
May 15, 2008 - 1:20pm

NuMu - how dare you compare Fantasia to gorillas. I find that very offensive..... to gorillas.

I mean damn, is that her face or did her neck throw up?! It looks like she blocked a punt.


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