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Carly Hennessy Smithson is no more. Cue “The Parting Glass.” (Seriously, it should’ve been her sing-out song; can you imagine how awesome that would’ve been?!  "All the money that ever I had, I spent it in good company, and all the harm I've ever done, alas it was to none but me!") Slán leat, Carly. Slán leat.

Since Day One of Smithson’s Idol journey, I wanted so badly for her to step on stage, ditch the diva ballads, and break into some friggin’ Bono, man. I mean, come on... girl, you’re from Ireland! You should’ve represented! Eire pumps out phenomenal music. Pay a little homage to your homeland, you know?

"This week on Idol is all about songs from musicals, so I think you should do a blog about some of the best, totally not lame or cheesy musicals. You could give us the names of some of your favorite musical theater songs. Just a thought." - Emma

It’s one of Simon Cowell’s favorite insults, and it once again proves just how painfully ignorant he is of the modern music scene. Someone needs to bring Cowell up to speed: cabaret is fabulous.

Name one other genre that brings the same degree of artsy eccentricity. These are songs for fire-breathers and stilt-walkers. Nobody understands the theater of music more than cabaret performers, and a recent surge in popularity has seen caba-rock and caba-pop finding mainstream success. So don your feather boa, drink some Absinthe, and listen to the music of these three amazing cabaret-inspired groups:

Antony & the Johnsons

This week, American Idol—a show that already takes itself very seriously—takes itself even more seriously with Idol Gives Back.  The theme is about what inspires you.  Well, this is VFTW.  What inspires VFTW is the tuneless, the tasteless, and the terrible: bad music.  And I mean bad in the best possible way.   

There is an outrageous, kitschy appeal in bad music.  Many people who visit VFTW don’t understand this, so it’s time to bridge the gap and open some minds.  Music doesn’t have to be popular.  It doesn’t have to be pretentious.  It doesn’t even have to be in tune to be entertaining.   

For a break from all the seriousness of this week, please enjoy these dreadful suggestions.  They’re awesome.  

Simon Cowell “doesn’t get” country music (or he didn’t for the past six seasons… this year he’s had a sudden change of heart). Perhaps Cowell and others who "don't get" country should talk to my Texan friend Jess, who gets misty-eyed listening to ballads on the country station. Or my father, who after a long day at work goes to his study and quietly plucks folksy melodies on his acoustic guitar.

Too often, country music is lauded and not celebrated for its evocative, simple strums about the human experience. Below are three songs that just might elicit admiration from those who claim to "hate country."

"Lou Reed" by The Little Willies:

This week is Country Week on American Idol. So it stands to reason my post is about hip-hop. It’s a cliché genre rivalry (country vs. hip-hop): if you love one, it is assumed you hate the other. I recently talked music with a co-worker, Martina*. Martina is a country gal through-and-through, so we had a grand ol’ time trading favorite singers from the South. Then Martina took the conversation in a completely different direction: a ten-minute tirade about how hip-hop is terrible.

The songwriter should not be punished for the banal inanity of the singer who sings their song.  This is why I always enjoy when a talented artist brings some emotional depth to a Top 40 cover (Idols, take heed… it can be done!)  A perfect example is the Britney Spears catalogue.  Good musicians love to take notorious Britney singles and reinvent them---probably because they usually sound better by comparison. Here for your consideration are three great Britney Spears covers.

Frankly, we all need a break from 60s, 70s, and 80s theme weeks.  

“Toxic” (written by Bloodshy & Avant, Cathy Dennis, and Henrik Jonback)

as performed by Yael Naïm: 

"Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals, no matter how great they are or were.  The Beatles were just a band."  This lyric is from the refreshingly acerbic "Thou Shalt Always Kill" by Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip.  The Beatles top a long list of other sacred musical acts (The Clash, the Sex Pistols), and the song serves as a reminder to us all.  These idolized bands didn't cure cancer.  They didn't negotiate peace treaties.  They're just bands. 

This week was Beatles week.  Ahem, Beatles week.  John Lennon.  Paul McCartney.  So tell me… how did Idol sneak a Stevie Wonder version of "We Can Work It Out" into the lineup?  How do they do that!?  I like Stevie as much as the next girl, but there’s only so much “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” a person can take.   

I’m a KCRW / NPR type of girl.  A Hideout Block Party girl.  But, on occasion, I do like to check up on the real-life incarnations of my caricatures (see banner above).  Was it fate, then, when last Tuesday I tuned in to Fox’s number one haven for bad music and heard the ethereal “Halleluiah” grace the stage?  Has the world ended?  Has hell frozen over?  What in God's name is Jeff Buckley doing on American Idol?