Professor Chan's blog
Idol Leftover Auditions-- At Least They're Over.
Denver, Can You Unbutton Your Shirt a Little? Ooh Yeah.
I know some of you may have noticed that I seem bored and disinterested with this lackluster season so far. Well, that's because I am. I am really ready for the Final 24 start. I enjoy this show much more when the bad singing is supposed to be good, if you get what I mean. The Bad Singing Auditions are pretty terrible, repetitive and after 9 seasons, they are thoroughly predictable. What this season really needed was for Posh Spice to come back for an entire hour to punish us. No Katy Perry or Doogie for a second hour, but Ms. Too Tanned Twig who voted for people purely based on looks and fashion sense gets another go-round? Could this season get any worse? I sure hope not, 'cause they're scraping bottom of the barrel as it is.
Doogie Does Dallas
Doogie Does Dallas --
Neil Patrick Harris guest stars and was predictably awesome. "My goal is to shatter the dreams of thousands." Sounds good to me. Neil was on point, nailing zingers, bringing welcome personality to the show and having a solid idea of what he likes in a singer. So why is Randy still judging on this show again?
While we're talking about the tub of goo, I'm begging you Randy, please retire this "Billion per cent yes" crap. It's a simple yes or no question. Giving someone a "billion per cent yes" is no more validating then the pity "Yes" votes you cast for cancer patients and homeless people.
Hollywood Boulevard Night
Thank God it's finally Hollywood Week-- Oh, wait. It's just more bad singing auditions FROM Hollywood. Crap.
So the Idol Juggernaut chugs on. I really, really hope that one day Idol figures it out and just airs one week of two hour auditions and just gets this stuff over with. The real Hollywood week is so much more entertaining where the personalities come out and bad songs are butchered.
If this was a half-hour episode it would've been pretty good. The second half in particular was entertaining with Katy Perry's sassy judging. The first half was dull with unexceptional Crazies and no good singers worth mentioning.
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Orlando is um... Magical.
I liked the Orlando auditions. Lots of hams, lots of talent and lots of criminals. Yes, it follows the Idol Audition Script but it's the people, good, bad and crazy people not the production that makes it work.
Our guest judge, for one day at least is Kristin Chenoweth. She's a Broadway star with great singing talent. She was perky and fun and she actually added something. Good for Kristin.
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Superhero Theo starts it off. He's got drag make-up and a cape. But he's not terrible, even though the judges pretend like he is. So basically he's not funny bad, just bad. Kara gives a cluelessly funny kiss-off "You're better than all that, and you smell nice."
Chicago Auditions -- Worse Than The Cubs
Howdy Class,
Doesn't it suck to be one of the Final 24 this year and know that "Pants On The Ground" Guy has already sold more records than you ever will? And same goes for you, GuyWhoWonLast Year.
Yes, it's time for still more auditions. Yawn. Don't Idol Viewers ever get tired of bad singers and obvious fake Comedian Plants who pretend to be bad singers? And Idiots in Stupid Costumes? I've already had enough of the Idiots in Stupid Costumes to last me at least 10 more seasons. I know the punchline to that joke already.
Season 9: Boston Blahs
Welcome back Class to another exciting-- Um, interesting--- No.
Mildly Amusing? More like Yawn-Inducing season of American Idol. I am
Professor Chan, and I will be your co-pilot through another wacky
season of bad singing.
Idol Season 9 Finale Post-Game Analysis: It's a VFTW Shocker!
HOWDY CLASS,
Tonight, as you may have noticed, is the Season Finale of Idol 8. Yay. Tonight's finale promises to have epically bad singing, embarrassing celebrity duets and Nourmund Gentle and Tatiana both perform. And for a change the Idol Finale is Terrible-Funny instead of just Terrible-Terrible. And the results are a pleasant, genuine surprise. VFTW!!!
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You'd think by the Finals the Professional Idol Tech crew would have their shit together. But nope, 6 minutes in and we have our first technical glitch as Kris' mic isn't turned on when he tries to answer Seacrest's stupid question. How hard is it to turn on a mic people? Nice work, bosy.
Seacrest ominously intones: "As our audition tour comes to a climax..." Yeah, Kara already had four of those during Ryan's "This is... American Idol" dramatic pause.
Idol tradition tells us that the last Audition Episode is usually a "Greatest Hits" compilation. That's right, the show that's worth a billion dollars doesn't bother shooting any new episodes. They just throw together some recycled footage that was SOOOooo Good they didn't bother showing it the first time around. If that sounds wonderful to you, then you'll probably love this episode.
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