--Man, Paula was on point during the performance show.  I guess she waited until AFTER the show to get loaded, suck down a vial of vicodin and bone the contestants.   She actually made good points, and completed her sentences.  See, it's easier to judge them when you admit that they sucked, isn't it Paula?

--Was that the most Fast-Forwarable Results show?  Big surprise, David Vs. David.  I could’ve skipped the ENTIRE SEASON from Final 12 on.

--Is the title of Fantasia’s new song, “Bore Me” a critique on this season?   Because that’s how I feel.  The theme for Season 7 was Boring with a capital “BORING.”  

Finally the gloriously bad Idol episode that we’ve all been waiting for. All sorts of musical attrocities were committed, including a song sung by penguins and a love song about a giant meteor. Yes!!! I loved it.

Everyone got in the spirit tonight. Simon was on-point all night, including picking the ONLY decent song of the evening for David Cook. Paula was actually sober and coherent, making strong points about the singing and performances, as if her job depended on her, you know, judging the damn show. Seacrest making his unfunny non-jokes and Randy spending the whole evening trying to stroke his own ego. That was some episode. Oh, and Lloyd from “Entourage” was in attendance. Good stuff.

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This show sucks. Thankfully, as one stoner is cast into the ocean, another stone is turned over. Presenting The David Archuleta 2008. He forgets his words and he has an annoying stage dad that will ensure he makes bad decisions to entertain us for months to come.

David Archuleta says that his song picked by Paula, And So It Goes, is a “really pretty song.” He performs it with his eyes closed as always. It has a decent beginning, but his ridiculous melismified ending ruins any semblance of a good performance (luckily for VFTW). David then panders for VFTW votes by completely butchering Chris Brown’s “With You.” First Chris is forced to duet with Jorbacca, then you do this to his song. Why does thy hate Chris Brown so, Idol? Funny how an 18 year old can sing the song and make it seem relevant, while a 17 year old who looks 12 seems completely out of place singing it. To hear David sing “I need you boo” and “Hot little figure, yes you a winner” was awesome enough, but he was completely flat for most of the song and he flubbed his lines for the umpteenth time this season. This truly memorable and terrible performance solidifies David’s place in VFTW history. Lastly, the producers picked “Longer” for him. The vocal was decent and it was easily better than his other 2 performances, but it was ridiculously slow and pointless.

There is a wide world of music beyond what is hashed out on television and the radio. I lucked out by gaining the friendship of a great many musical geeks—appreciators of the weird and underground, LP hoarders, fellow concert addicts and members of bands—who are always open to suggesting songs and helping me unearth singers I might otherwise have never heard of. The only real way to promote below-the-radar bands is through word-of-mouth, which (thanks to the internet) has expanded to encompass a worldwide network of communication.

"Don't ask how I came about it, but I just watched the "We Are the World" video. Priceless! We all seem to agree that the Idol group songs are cheesy. I can only think of a few [group songs], but I have the utmost faith in you to come up with some obscure and wonderful combinations of people... this may be more difficult than it seems." - Pizzamama

Ah… the dreaded group number. So tacky. But that doesn’t mean that all group songs are. As per Pizzamama’s request, I scanned my playlist for good group songs, which did, in fact, prove difficult. Nevertheless, below is a list of my favorite musical collaborations.

Seacrest ponderously announces that the Idols will be singing two songs from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame list of all-time great rock songs.  “Maybe one of them will end up in the Hall some day” muses Ryan.  Eh, maybe not, dude.

After a lively discussion of what is wrong with Idol here at VFTW, I think we can all agree on one point.  What if they took away all the lies and the money-grubbing and humiliation of delusional contestants, and just made the show into a singing competition?

What is so wrong about a nation-wide search for the best undiscovered talent in America?  Oh, right.  Because this..............................................................
Is American Idol...  How could I forget?

I have never seen someone thrown under the bus with such conviction. Bravo, producers and judges. You all but already eliminated Jason Castro before he even sang a note last week, so you're just finishing the job tonight. So what does Jason do? In typical stoner fashion, not give a shit. And it was awesome! Jason’s antics tonight were legendary, even if the rest of the night was a snooze. Even when the contestants get to pick their own songs, we learn that they have really awful taste or have no idea what suits their voice. Thus, the 500 Songs that Shaped Rock and Roll became the 8 Songs that People Will Forget About By Next Week.

Random Idol Thoughts

Paula-Gate 2008 is growing in intensity… well it is for us at VFTW, I think the typical  teeny-booper  (misspelling was unintentional, but funnier)  Idol fans still don’t give a rip that their show is broken this season.

Paula’s AI apologists have come out of the wood-work.  “Oh, it’s just Paula, she made a mistake.  It’s live TV.”  Heck, I even made a bone-headed typo writing about it.