Syesha Mercado
Syesha Mercado on The Wendy Williams Show
Syesha Mercado to Play Deena in Dreamgirls
Syesha Mercado, who displayed no personality and nothing original whatsoever during her time on American Idol season 7, is set to be completely unoriginal again by landing a role in the National tour of Dreamgirls. So now she just wants to be Jennifer Hudson? There's no way Syesha will be noticed anywhere near as much as the Boomie, though. Also, it's fitting that Syesha will play the role of a pretty but not very talented singer who becomes famous based purely on looks and nothing else. But hey, congrats, Syesha. You're definitely doing 100 times better than Carly Smithson.
Syesha Mercado to Perform on the Top 5 Results Show
Batshit crazy bore Syesha Mercado is apparently going to be performing on the top 5 results show this year, according to an e-mail we received. Will Coretta Scott Mercado continue to compare her lackluster performing career to the civil rights movement? Or will she just continue to spout out random jibberish catchphrases that she assumes are coming across as inspirational? Either way, we're sure no one has given Syesha a recording contract unless she's putting her big mouth to good use, so the song and performance should be a total flop and a total bore.
ETA: MJ's Big Blog says Syesha is not performing on the top 5 results show. Thank God!
Syesha Mercado Banned from the Official Idol Site
Batshit crazy Syesha Mercado, who often write ridiculously long blogs about how fortunate she is to have 2 fans, recently posted the most unintentionally funny blog yet. She wrote:
"So, I'm a little disappointed right now. Just a little heart broken ya'll. I created an account on AmericanIdol.com to respond to the message boards…to really get connected with you all and keep everyone over there still in AI message board land informed of my Myspace and Facebook. I just really wanted to reply to the many fans that voiced their opinion on Syesha Topics, who voted, and sent encouraging words. Unfortunately I was only able to write a few people and before I knew it my profile and comments were deleted. It was really upsetting."
Translation: She wanted to post to see if anyone remembered her and desperately hang on to that last second of fame before it disappears. Oh, lo! Even the official Idol message boards forgot who Syesha is. She then followed up her blog by posting every intimate detail about her mundane, non-famous life. Syesha, seriously. You're crazy. No one remembers you. No one cares about you. And no one cares that you love gardenia and organic cookies. Except us now. We'll chronicle your psychotic blogs for fun.
What... the... fuck?
Apparently Guitar Hero is sponsoring the Idol tour this summer. Whatever. The fascinating part of the article is this picture.
Everyone remember this when you think about trying out for AI8. You have to do this. And again... Carly manages to look like an idiot in every picture she appears in.
Bad Decisions Happen Every Day
In the worst marketing decision of the 21st century, a company named Beckley has apparently decided to use Syesha Mercado, Carly Smithson, and Brooke White in their new commercial. We found pictures of the commercial at Entertainment Hotline. How Carly made it into a commercial that isn't about anti-nausea medication is beyond us, but we fully expect sales at this store we've never heard of to plummet even lower. What would be a more appropriate commercial for these 3? Let us know in the comments.
The Fix is In for David Cook- David Archuleta's Voice Coach Fills Us In
If David Archuleta's voice coach can be believed, he wants everyone to know that the fix is in. Voice coach Dean Kaelin said in a Fox Utah interview that the producers really rigged things last week to help David Cook. Dean says that the producers asked David to sing his best song first, while David Cook was told to sing his best song last so that the audience would remember it better. Gaspy also practiced singing "Longer" with an uptempo beat but was then told by producers that he had to sing it slower. Why? Probably because it might have sounded better that way. Lastly, Gaspy was going to sing "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing", which had been cleared for him for a few weeks, but the song was taken away afrom him and given to David Cook. Dean also says that Syesha wanted to use strings (probably the full orchestra that David Cook used) in one of her songs and was told she couldn't. Who got to use the strings? David Cook of course. We believe Dean, because Idol is a shady show that does whatever it can to get the reults it wants. But what can Gaspy do (see picture for his options)? If the fix is in, the producers will stop at nothing to crown Cook. All we can do is expose the madness and try to help our gasping friend.
Syesha Singing Tonight's Song Already
Planning to sleep through Syesha's performances tonight like us? Well if you want to see her sing Randy's choice "If I Ain't Got You", she already did it when she was a contestant on that crappy cancelled show "The One". Watch, snore, whatever.
Is Syesha super short or is Wendy super tall? At least Wendy didn't pull out a slim jim and start lighting it on fire. Where's Joel McHale when you need him?