Randy Jackson

Finally, the judge that should've been gone a long time ago is possibly being shown the door. Popcrunch is reporting that Fox is trying to revamp the show and might get rid of Randy since the other 2 original judges will be gone. The article says, "Randy was basically told that there was a very good chance he was not going to be asked back after this season." It's no loss. Randy has never contributed anything worthwhile to the judging panel. He and Kara are competing to see who can be the most worthless and annoying this season, and it's finally catching up to him. Unlike how sad we were to see our boozehound Paula Rehabdul go, Randy won't be missed by anyone if he's given the pink slip.

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At 4:15, the Jackson brothers talk on Jimmy Kimmel Live about how Randy Jackson (their brother) was supposed to be the actual American Idol judge and not Randy Jackson (the record producer). Who knows if they're kidding or not, but losing the Randy we have on Idol right now would do absolutely nothing to the show, so we support any type of late in the game switch for mass confusion. (Via Zap2It)

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With all of the Paula Abdul pity in the air, someone had to kick her when she was down. Media IQ issued a study that said that Paula Abdul is the American Idol judge that most people fast forward through while watching their Tivo. This study is bullshit though, as they say that Randy is the most popular.

Let us explain what actually happens: People start watching Randy and forget they have to listen to the judges. So as he begins to talk, they hit fast forward, but it takes a few seconds because their brains are momentarily frozen while trying to comprehend the nonsensical comments from Randy. After fast forwarding, the viewers then hit Play when Simon comes back on, realizing that the judge comments are almost over.

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That's enough. After even more articles from Paula Abdul in the news saying that she won't be back on American Idol due to contract negotiations stalling, enough is enough. When will the press learn that the judges are told to keep telling everyone that they won't be back or have to negotiate contracts so that people keep reporting on Idol all year long? Since nothing is going on, Paula has to run her yapper about how there's a possibility she won't be back. This comes after months of Kara, Simon, and Randy doing the same thing. Who cares? Listen up, judges. You have a sweet gig sitting on a chair, killing brain cells, and saying the same 10 sentences with different variations thrown in every week. Stop bitching. We all know your "I won't be back" lines are bullshit. And even if you don't come back because you're actually telling the truth for once, no one will miss you. American Idol has devolved into the worst karaoke competition money can buy, and the judging has become a parody of itself. Any moron with a cocaine habit can do the same thing you do.

So forgive us if we don't have pity for you. Receiving millions of dollars to say "that was pitchy, dawg" or to fall over in a drug-addled mess after being drawn on with crayons is beyond what people in bad economy can have sympathy for. No one wants to hear you say anything else, because no one sees you as anything but has-been personalities that are good to make fun of. So for God's sake, give it up already. 

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You may have heard Adam Lambert's voice before. He recorded a vocal of "We Are the Champions" for District 78. Since the show is produced by Randy Jackson and he probably knows where the music comes from, did Randy Jackson ask Adam Lambert to audition for the show? It wouldn't be surprising since he clearly knew Carly Smithson before she made it to the top 6 last year. Oh Randy, you're finally going to be involved in a scandal and people may finally care about your opinion for one day.

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For some reason, Amtrak has tapped Randy Jackson as a celebrity headliner for National Train Day on May 9. What's the matter, was Thomas the Tank Engine busy? This is the stupidest pairing since Paula tried to sponsor The Partnership for a Drug Free America. Randy and trains? What's the connection there, that he's as fat as a train? Not seeing it. To try to tie the two together, Amtrak VP Emmett Fremaux said, "As one of the hosts of the most watched TV show in America, Randy Jackson is helping to raise the profile of train travel as an important part of American culture." In response, Randy said, "Yo dawg, we got a hot one tonight! Dude, dude, I always say this is a transportation competition, and this train can really move! You in the dining car tonight, dawg!"

This may be the most pointless celebrity to event matchup in the history of time. What is he even going to do as a "headliner", talk unintelligibly for 2 hours?

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Randy, Simon, and Ryan were on Jay Leno last night and they basically stated that Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey, and Lil Rounds would be the final 3. Boring and predictable. Though at least if Adam keeps camping it up, that'll keep it watchable. So now we know who Simon and Randy will use the judges' save on (as if we didn't know already).

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What the fuck? Well this proves it. Ryan Seacrest is straight. No self respecting gay man would ever share a taco that close with Randy Jackson.

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