Kris Allen

Kris Allen Is Slaughtering Adam Lambert In Sales

Posted by smarterthanpickler on January 6th, 2010 at 5:35 PM

It's like The Tortoise & The Hare, except in this case the hare is a big fat tranny with horrible skin...VFTW pick Kris Allen is slaughtering Adam Lambert in Singles sales!...

  • Kris Allen, Live Like We're Dying, 486 000 total
  • Adam Lambert, For Your Entertainment, 195 000
  • Adam Lambert, Whattaya Want From Me, 136 000

VFTW told you so! While Adam's fans are making threats and getting their Idol pulled off the airwaves, our pick continues to make his usual dull but steady climb onward and upward. VFTW Victory!


Kris Allen on David Letterman

Posted by thefunnystone on December 17th, 2009 at 5:00 PM

LOL at the entire band wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. Too funny. The song is still boring, but at least his band is funny. Also funny, "Live Like We're Dying" is up to #36 on the Billboard Hot 100, while none of Adam Lambert's 3 failed singles are even charting.


Deja vu! It what seems to be a trend with Adam Lambert singles, "For Your Entertainment" has completely fallen off of the Billboard Hot 100 in its second week, just like "Time for Miracles" did. He can't even stay in the top 100 songs for more than a week at a time? That's truly pathetic. Clearly, radio does not want to play any of Adam's songs. And without a radio hit, Adam's album is doomed after his first week or two of album sales. On the other hand, Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying" has jumped up to #41 and is gaining radio play. It's a boring song, but at least it's semi-radio friendly and doesn't have awful screeching in it.


Well that's about what we expected. Kris Allen's album will debut on the Billboard 200 at #11, selling 80,000 copies in its first week. This does make him the lowest selling Idol winner in first week sales ever. Part of it is the boring first single "Live Like We're Dying", part of it is the lack of promotion he's getting from 19E, who seems to want to spend all of their time aboard the fail train with Adam Lambert. Adam is estimated to sell about 200,000 copies of his album in its first week, which is about what we expected since most of those are preorders. Look for Adam's album to quickly decline soon after.


Kris Allen On The Dish

Posted by thefunnystone on November 21st, 2009 at 1:55 PM

Eh, could have been much funnier. Then again, The Dish is just The Soup's much less funny cousin, so that's about right.


His voice is sounding very tired, he probably needs a good rest. Definitely not the best he's done. Funniest part of the video: When Conan comes out and makes Kris look even shorter than he is.


Vote for the Worst Album Review - Kris Allen

Posted by thefunnystone on November 9th, 2009 at 7:53 PM

As I listened to Kris Allen's debut CD, a nagging thought wouldn't get out of my head: I've heard this before. You'll think the same thing as you listen to Kris's CD. But just because the songs aren't that innovative, it doesn't mean that some of them aren't good. The album is definitely a respectable effort from Kris, especially regarding the rush job recording sessions necessary to get the album done. Read on for the specifics.


Due to the fact that Adam Lambert's songs are pure shit and no one will play them on the radio, there is now a new contest to win a concert with Adam, Allison, and Kris altogether. Adam is not anywhere near the draw that 19E was expecting, so they have to package him with Kris and Allison to get anyone besides the Sparkle Cows interested. Meanwhile, Kris Allen's single is slowly climbing the charts and doing well for itself. We love irony. (News via MJ's Big Blog)