Danny Gokey
2009 Whatevia Award Winners
Danny Gokey Fans Want to Kill Us With Kindness (And Bad Spelling)
Poor disilusioned Danny Gokey fans (we know, some people are really stupid) have had enough of everyone in the world talking bad about Danny. Instead of realizing that when a majority of people think something it might be true, the Gokey fans are starting a campaign to go around the internet and post nice things about Danny the douche where negativity is being spread. So far, none of them have come to the biggest site that ridicules Gokey (aka here). But as always, it gives us plenty of comments to laugh about.
Let the cry go out! We can't take this anymore. WE ARE GOKEY! (rawr). Who shall we spam first?
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE CAN'T ALOOW IT I WAS MEMBE RTHERE UNTIL THEY STARTED THIS H8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T ALOW IS PLZ!!!! PLZ WE CAN'T ALLLOW DANNY'S NAME 2 B USED SO BADLY LIKE THIS... PLZ SRY IM LIKE...CRYING.....
FIGHTING EVIL BY MOONLIGHT, WINNING LOVE BY DAYLIGHT. NEVER RUNNING FROM A REAL FIGHT! HE IS THE ONE NAMED SAILOR GOKEY
So apparently Danny Gokey is a douche and his fans are morons. Wait, that's not news.
FramesDirect.com Wants to Go Out of Business
Looks like no one told Framesdirect.com what a douche Danny Gokey is. He's hawking his glasses on the site, as if anyone wants to look like him. Every style looks the same: douchey.
Twitter Exists Only to Make VFTW Laugh
Honestly, what kind of self-absorbed morons actually use Twitter to update people on every little thing they do? We are convinced that Twitter only exists so that when we need a good laugh, we can log on and see just how idiotic some of the Idol contestants are. Case in point, it would be fun right now to find Danny Gokey doing something stupid that will inevitably lead to ruining his career, Jorbacca talking about how much she loves to stuff food in her face, and a contestant talking about VFTW:
DannyGokey: I overslept and missed 3 radio interviews....i feel so stupid.
TheRealJordin (Jordin Sparks): TOBLERONEEEEEE
Ramiele: @kristyleecook OMG you have a twitter! If it wasn't for you, I would be the one @Votefortheworst would have picked!
Ta da! Maybe Twitter isn't so useless after all. Of course, you can watch the VFTW Twitter where we send people stupid messages and generally mock other Twitter users as well.
ETA: Turns out the Ramiele twitter is fake. This is her real one. Would someone get her to explain what "pots n pans blitches fuck wid it" means? And why would someone waste time pretending to be Ramiele? This makes no sense.
Daughtry Producer Says Danny Gokey Doesn't Have a Future in Music
Music producer Howard Benson, who has produced songs for Daughtry and Kelly Clarkson, told MTV News that he isn't excited about the prospects of a Danny Gokey record. Benson had this to say:
In fact, Howard Benson, who has worked with Chris Daughtry and Kelly Clarkson, doesn't think Gokey has a future in the industry. "The hardest record to make is Gokey's record, which is why I don't think he's going to make one," Benson told MTV News. "It would be very tough to make a record with him.
"I don't think he established who he was at all," Benson continued, citing a prevailing worry among record execs. "He has this great, soulful voice. But he dresses like some guy that's in a bar somewhere. He doesn't look the part."
Well, duh. That's why VFTW picked him. Gokey's record is going to tank miserably. Though should we be listening to the advice of someone who worked with shit like the band Daughtry? Well, he doesn't like Gokey, so he at least has some common sense.
Neil Lambert Isn't a VFTW Fan
It seems that Neil Lambert, Adam Lambert's brother, has been posting at SomethingAwful.com. And he has some choice words about VFTW that read much like the hilarious hate mail we always get:
"I can't stand browsing their forums. It's like a giant circle jerk for all the kids who hate poo poo just because the majority likes it. They're the kids that were into Hot Topic until everyone else was into it. Then, even though the same clothes were being sold, they emphatically rejected it.
I could care less about them, true, but what makes me angry is the inevitable posting of "VFTW Victory!!!" everywhere with that loving rage-inducing smiley they use upon Adam losing the competition (which is a very real possibility). The millions of Gokey fans who vote en masse for Kris should claim the victory, not a handful of bitchy queens who use words like "fug" in serious conversation."
Seriously, Neil? Poo poo? Hot Topic? But hey, the bitchy queens on this site can't really hate you that much, because you love to mock Gokey as much as we do. So right on there, brother.
"Like I've always said, the only thing that would have sent me flying into a rage would have been a Gokey victory... Adam will be fine no matter what. He's got a lot of people knocking on his door. Besides the shame of having someone as lame as Gokey beating him, it might even be better for him to get 2nd."
Danny Gokey and Michael Sarver in Hot Water Over Video
This video was posted to Michael Sarver's blog, then summarily removed when viewers took offense to a line. In it, Danny says that he loves Michael... but then clarifies in the right, Godly way. Come on, guys. Michael then responsed to the whole thing:
May 18, 2009 11:49 AM
Just want to say to those offended by this video that I am sorry you were offended. I did not intend that. In a world where I love u between guys can mean more then one thing we just wanted to clarify the status of our relationship. It had nothing to do with passing judgement.
So he wanted to clarify that he and Gokey aren't gay? As if anyone thought that. Neither of them are attractive enough to be gay. Much ado about nothing, but it's always funny to see Idols forget to watch what they say.
(Thanks to MJ's Big Blog for keeping us up on the internet drama, haha.)
Own the Official 2009 VFTW Caricatures Used This Season
Every year, we auction off the official VFTW caricatures on eBay with all of the money going to the artist, Laura Hawbaker. Laura does an outstanding job creating the artwork for this website and often does these drawings within a few hours' notice to make sure we have something great to put on the site. These are one of a kind items, no other copies exist anywhere, so you will own the only physical copy of these drawings. They come with a ceritificate of authenticity and they make a great gift... or something to just keep for yourself. So bid today on these items. They end Wednesday during Idol's finale, so we'll keep reminding you to bid and own a piece of VFTW history. Enjoy!
Kris Allen ● Tatiana Del Toro ● Kara DioGuardi ● Normund Gentle ● Matt Giraud ● Danny Gokey ● Megan Joy ● Scott MacIntyre ● Lil Rounds ● Ryan Seacrest
You voted, we counted. Here's the winners of the 2009 Whatevia Awards. (For the original nominees, click here).
1. Favorite Female VFTW Peformance: Megan Joy - Rockin Robin
2. Favorite Male VFTW Performance: Nick Mitchell as Normund Gentle - And I Am Telling You