Adam Lambert
Adam Lambert's Album Title: For Your Entertainment
Adam Lambert Has a Diva Moment When Someone Ruins His Nails
Rickey.org has a funny post up with some gossip about Adam Lambert. Apparently, this summer on the Idol tour, Adam Lambert experienced the real meaning of the word tragedy. Someone grabbed his hand while his nail polish was still drying, and then...
Lambert exploded in a full diva meltdown and shrieked: “What the %%$#@&… my nails are still wet!”
He then waved his newly smudged, black-lacquered nails for all to see, adding, in a shriek: “Look what you have done! Now I have to do them all over again.”
The poor stagehand apologised profusely, we hear, as Lambert stormed back to his dressing-room.
Probably true. Adam seems incredibly into himself, so this all seems about right.
Adam Lambert Being "Racy" in Details Magazine
AINow has the pictures from Adam Lambert's photo shoot in Details Magazine. Adam described the pictures as "racy" in a Twitter post. Why is he posing with a naked woman? It just seems kind of desperate. It's not as it if it's saying anything or even that interesting. His album must be turning out really awful.
ETA: Details Magazine wasn't too happy with them having the pictures up, so you'll have to actually get the magazine. If you plan to assault your eyes.
Adam Lambert - Time for Miracles - The Whole Painful Thing
Here ya go. The verses are much more subdued than the rest of the song, so much less painful, but still incredibly bland and cliche ("I know this flame isn't dying, so nothing can stop me from trying"... genius songwriting). Then the screeching begins and it's time not for miracles, but to wish you had never pressed the play button.
If you really want to torture yourself, you can download the whole song here.
Adam Lambert Writes Awful Poetry
And without further ado, we bring you some original Adam Lambert poetry. What the hell is this guy on? Warning: There may be images in this poem that your brain can't forget.
Dawn.
The ink of night slow dances with muddled fire.
Jagged mountian tops in a breathy mauve peak out of vague camouflage.
A crow moans in horny recovery. Rubbing a last one out amid coconut ghosts and spiderwebs.
This alley cat block still a mystery to me.
On the roof. Seeking proof.
Adam thinks he's edgy and controversial. We think he's an idiot.
"This Is It" Producers Want Sparkle Cow Cash
In a smart marketing move, someone decided that Adam Lambert's new music video trailer for Time For Miracles is going to premiere right before Michael Jackson's posthumous movie This Is It. Expect the Sparkle Cows to shell out big bucks in the opening weekend so they can see their object of affection (pictured: left, looking creepy) shit all over the trailer to disaster flick 2012. This should guarantee a big opening weekend, as Sparkle Cows have tons of disposable income and no friends to tell them that they're wasting it. A note to anyone who is going to see Michael Jackson's movie: bring mace and beef jerky. The mace is to ward off the Sparkle Cows. The beef jerky is a last ditch effort to distract them into running in the opposite direction when you throw it.
Adam Lambert and Drake LaBry - Not So Happy Couple?
Radaronline.com posted an account with Adam Lambert and his boyfriend Drake LaBry on Friday night. It seems Adam was talking to some other dude and Drake wasn't too happy. Countdown until the Sparkle Cows take it upon themselves to intervene to hilarious results.
A Preview of Adam Lambert "Time for Miracles" is Finally Released...
...and it's just as awful as we expected. Listen for yourself at Amazon.com. Should we say "told you so" now or wait until the single fails miserably? This is the song the Sparkle Cows were willing to murder for?
Edited to Add: You can also hear more of the painful shrieking here. Though really, do you hate yourself enough to click on that link?
Amazon.com confirms it. It should more appropriately be named For Your Amusement, as we'll probably be laughing when it fails.