Adam Lambert
Adam Lambert and Drake LaBry Split Up
Adam Lambert - "For Your Entertainment" Premieres
Well here's Adam Lambert's "official" single. Top 40 radio might possibly embrace this because it's so cookie cutter. His voice is so processed, anyone could be singing this. The song sounds like something Britney Spears was offered, but she passed on it because it was too cheesy. Except for the awful screaming in the bridge... that's just pure Adam. Guess we'll see what happens next.
Let the Failures Begin: Adam Lambert Debuts at a Pathetic #50 On the Hot 100
Every year, American Idol contestants debut near the top of the Billboard Hot 100 chart with their new singles. For example, David Archuleta's "Crush" debuted at #2. Even "Light On" by David Cook debuted at #17. Adam Lambert's "Time for Miracles", however, debuted at #50. That's pretty pathetic. This is clearly due to the fact that no one will play this song on the radio since it's so cliche and terrible. Will Adam's next single do any better? Doubtful.
Sparkle Cows React to the Travesty of Adam Lambert's Album Cover
After seeing Adam Lambert's hilariously ugly album cover (see the post below this one), the Sparkle Cows are producing some hilarious reactions. While you laugh at arguably the worst Idol album cover of all time, also laugh at these comments from Adam's fans from his official website:
"I don't like it at all! he looks like a woman! no, no, no....very dissapointed..."
"Is this REALLY the cover? Of all the gorgeous pictures Adam has taken, I can't undertand why this was selected for his debut album...he looks like a woman, not the handsome man he really is. I'm so disappointed!"
"You wanted contraversy, well you got it! This is way to femine for me too. Is it air brushed? Are you naked? You are holding you face as a woman would. All that is good about this, is that it is not the Michelin Man suit! That doesn't look like a Rock God. I still love your singing, your personality, and those other looks."
"Okay...honestly...I LOVE Adam...I really do...but why so femmy?! It's like a bad Cher photo shoot from the 80's! WOW. Just...WOW."
Adam Lambert - For Your Entertainment CD Cover
Adam Lambert at the American Music Awards
Looks like Adam is going to be performing at the American Music Awards this year. Hopefully the venue's security has extra Twizzlers on hand to herd the Sparkle Cows. (Via MJ's Big Blog)
Adam Lambert - Time for Miracles Video
Adam Lambert | MySpace Music Videos
The soot all over his face suits him, since is covers up his nasty skin. If the world ends and everyone dies, can Adam go with them?
Details Magazine Posts Adam Lambert Story Online
The story we'd already linked to last week from Details Magazine is now available online. It's even more pathetic than we imagined. The tagline to the article is "Why does every woman in America want to sleep with the American Idol?" Ladies, we'll let you respond to that one. Adam is still trying to pretend he likes to make out with women sometimes so that he can sell records to the Sparkle Cows. Dude, grow a backbone. He also mentions that he likes his men "smaller and younger." Direct quote. The funniest part of the article is the ad on the side where you can enter to win your very own photo shoot with Adam Lambert. The pictures resulting from a Sparkle Cow engulfing Adam should be a VFTW victory of massive proportions. Pun intended.
Apparently, Adam Lambert has broken up with his boyfriend, Drake LaBry. Even though Drake didn't seem like much of a catch, bad move on Adam's part. He's probably believing the hype about himself and sees himself as a "sex symbol" who can have his pick of men. So we feel we need to step in and do what we do best here. No one with any taste would fantasize about a crater-faced, Liza Minnelli looking, double-chinned Twilight impersonator with a terrible haircut. It's our job to put Adam back in his place so he retains a realistic outlook on life. See, and people say we don't do anything positive. (News via MJ's Big Blog)