Chicks with Chops

Posted by Laura on March 9th, 2008 at 9:09 PM
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I’m a KCRW / NPR type of girl.  A Hideout Block Party girl.  But, on occasion, I do like to check up on the real-life incarnations of my caricatures (see banner above).  Was it fate, then, when last Tuesday I tuned in to Fox’s number one haven for bad music and heard the ethereal “Halleluiah” grace the stage?  Has the world ended?  Has hell frozen over?  What in God's name is Jeff Buckley doing on American Idol?  

True, the cover by dreadlocked Idol contestant Jason Castro was blasphemous, but it got me thinking.  What if the contestants of American Idol were allowed to choose from a different kind of catalogue?  No more Phil Collins.  No more Journey.  What would be on that list?  Here I offer a little corner in the Idol universe, an oasis in the desert.   

Good music.   ---- Laura

Today: CHICKS WITH CHOPS  

Girls of American Idol, for the good of good music, stop singing sappy diva ballads!  On Wednesday night, in an effort to show off your range you belted Celine Dion and Whitney Houston with all your heart and soul.  Poor children.  It’s like trying to paint the Sistine Chapel with Crayola crayons.  Do you not realize there are so many other singers out there with better songs?  In a perfect world, a girl wanting to flaunt her vocal chops would not resort to the Carey-Houston-Dion catalogue. Here for your perusal are perfectly viable alternatives.

Instead of Mariah Carey:

Sing some Neko Case.

Like Mariah, this redhead has a massive set of pipes.  Neko is a member of the indie power pop group The New Pornographers and also has a smashing solo career. Reminiscent of retro country singers like Loretta Lynn (with a little Tom Waits thrown into the mix), her honky-tonk songs are tailor made for jukeboxes in smoky bars.  She is a fierce advocate of artistic integrity and has turned down a shlew of major label offers.  Neko also refused to pose for Playboy, despite being voted 2003’s “Sexiest Babe of Indie Rock.”  Her reasoning?  “I didn’t want to be the girl who posed in Playboy and then—by the way—made some music.  I would be really fucking irritated if after a show somebody wanted me to sign some naked picture of myself instead of a CD.”  Someone needs to pass this advice on to Mariah.

SUGGESTIONS: Zero in on her cover of Elvis Costello’s “Runnin’ Out of Fools” from Blacklisted and the unreleased “Holy to the Lord” from Fox Confessor Brings the Flood.  “Thrice All American,” Neko’s ode to her hometown of Tacoma from Furnace Room Lullaby, is a fun romp as well.

Instead of Whitney Houston:

Sing some Alice Smith. 

Up and comer Alice Smith can belt one out with the big girls. Her debut album, For Lovers, Dreamers & Me made top lists across the country, but the girl got zero radio play.  Reviewers tend to pigeonhole her as the next Alicia Keys, but she’s so much more than just another R&B princess.   At times flirtatious, sultry, and soulful, her music is tough to categorize.  Raised in both urban D.C. and rural Georgia, Alice embodies an eclectic mix of pop-blues-soul sensibilities.  Oh, and she has a four octave range.  Suck it, Whitney. 

SUGGESTIONS: “Desert Song” and “Dream” show off Alice’s vocal power, while “Woodstock” is so deliciously bubbly, you’ll be hard put not to bop along.

Instead of Celine Dion:

Sing some Chantal Kreviazuk.

Like Celine, Chantal has the Canadian connection and is a big hit north of the border.  A classically trained pianist, she has written songs for radio poptarts Avril Lavigne and Idol’s own Kelly Clarkson.  With parts in movies and songs on soundtracks, Chantal has made a career out of flying just below the big-time radar.  Her voice is folk heavy, jumping between light as whip creamed and rough as charcoal.  The lady is a hardcore belter.  Chantal belts out her beautiful lyrics with raw, unleashed emotion that puts Celine’s over-produced ballads to shame.

SUGGESTIONS: “Eve” from Colour Moving and Still showcases Chantal’s range and belting ability; “Morning Light” from What If It All Means Something is perfect light pop poetry for romantics.  Like everyone, Chantal has performed The Rolling Stone’s “Wild Horses”; unlike the others’, her live cover gives the original a run for its money.

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Got any ideas for upcoming Good Music Corners?  Convince me at CaricaturesByLaura@yahoo.com.      

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Bosspooba
Posted: March 9, 2008 - 10:02pm
Joined: 29 Feb 2008

Last weeks contestants had to do 80s music. Is this Blog relevant??

ae.hunt
Posted: March 9, 2008 - 10:02pm
Joined: 06 Apr 2007

Laura, love your caricatures and I'll have to check out the artists that you mentioned above!

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robotesque
Posted: March 9, 2008 - 10:41pm
Joined: 09 Mar 2008

hallelujah was originally composed by leonard cohen and released in 1984 (hence being on the 80's night), jeff buckley didn't release his version until "grace" came out in 1994.

it has to be one of the most covered songs ever written, and one of the few songs where most of the covers are better than the original... leonard cohen can't sing.

Smartie
Posted: March 9, 2008 - 10:47pm
Joined: 02 Apr 2007

It's way more relevant than you.

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thefunnystone
Posted: March 9, 2008 - 10:54pm
Joined: 20 May 2006

This is why I told Laura her column would fit in so well here. We have a lot of music aficionados here. Not an insult of course, just a lot of people who like different music that isn't Celine crap. So this column fits right in :)

Welcome!

American Oracle
Posted: March 9, 2008 - 11:45pm
Joined: 10 Apr 2007

Welcome Laura!

What a great addition to the blogs here! Outstanding!

Ravenbomb
Posted: March 10, 2008 - 3:10am
Joined: 27 Apr 2007

I think "The Needle Has Landed" is my favorite Neko Case song. I dunno if she fits into the category of music you're going for, but Rebekah Del Rio has one of my favorite voices. I never get tired of hearing her version of Roy Orbison's "Crying" (as seen in Mulholland Drive).

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Ravenbomb
Posted: March 10, 2008 - 3:14am
Joined: 27 Apr 2007

I wish John Cale would get some credit now and then. His version of "Hallelujah" came out years before Buckley's, and it's the earliest cover I've found that used that particular arrangement. Not to knock Buckley's cover, but it just seems like people are covering John Cale's verison of the song than Leonard Cohen's and nobody ever so much as mentions it.

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"Humanity- you never had it to begin with."
-Bukowski
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badmammerjammer
Posted: March 10, 2008 - 6:05am
Joined: 22 May 2006

Welcome Laura! I'm loving all the new blogs today, and your caricatures are awesome!

everydayangel
Posted: March 10, 2008 - 7:50am
Joined: 11 May 2007

Don't even get me started on Castro's Version of Hallelujah, He was so off key and the ending was so terrible that I am pissed he beat out danny. To me that just proves this show is rigged. If they werent hell-bent on offing danny and if the votes actually mattered, there is no way in hell Castro would have passed if you look at either last performance or even all his performances tied in together.
Yeah I know, I should "get over" danny being kicked off, or it's just a show, why are you so worked up by it. Well I have never been pissed off this much by Idol before in the entire history of the show. I am on a blog crusade to pressure TPTB to release the vote counts.
UGGGHHHHHH!
Does anyone have a Xanax?

Sorry, I needed to let that all out

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If any of you sons of bitches has anything else to say NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME! ~O-ren