David Cook and Attention Whore Attend Dodgers Game

Eeew. They both suck.

Two fame whores who deserve each other - and the ancillary STDs.

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I agree he can do better...

Man, do I feel stupid. I have been sitting here for the last week completely dumbfounded by the reports of this relationship between David Cook and Kimberly Caldwell. I've been thinking to myself, "What? How did David Cook end up with that chick? I mean, she seems nice, I guess, but I just don't see them together at all."

As I lay curled up in the fetal position and weeping in a corner, I have been unable to fathom this pairing. It almost seemed as if the apocalypse was upon us, and this unholy union had the potential to spawn the antichrist, thus sending our world spiraling out of control to its ultimate demise. David Cook and the "Eighth World Wonder" girl? David Cook and the girl that Screech made cry on "Celebrity Fat Club?" How? How did this happen?

I now realize that while I was reading "Kimberly Caldwell," I was thinking of Kimberley Locke. Now I feel foolish. Two desperate, fame-seeking Hollywood leeches latching onto each other for sustenance in the hopes of stretching out their fleeting "careers" for another fifteen minutes? Bah! No news here, that stuff happens all the time.

I guess I can wipe my tears, crawl out of this corner, and get myself cleaned up now. After a glimpse into the horrors of what could be, I believe that the sun will shine a little brighter now, the food will taste a little sweeter, and I will appreciate the good things in my life just a little more than I would have before. I only hope that I don't prove to be a prophet, one who was granted a vision of the true end of the world. If that be the case, repent now, my brothers and sisters, because I have seen the face of the devil, and it is both stubbly and a little chubby. Beware the Locke-Cook beast child!

http://notbaio.wordpress.com

This blog is incomplete without the requisite link to Caldwell's acting debut. Way to show off your chops/ mandibula/lower intestines, Kim.

Caveat for the lurkerbees: The clip is most definitely an NC-17 for extreme violence.

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Fv%3Djhu8qWbWDko

HA! "Slut on a Hot Tin Roof." That is great!

Karaoke Gokey blows.

Dear Chachi, err, Scott Baio:

I believe there's a bit of unkindness regarding comments about Kimberly Locke and talentless. I believe she's doing OK in the country and adult contemporary music genre. As for Caldwell, She's worn on my nerves since we first saw her in AI auditions. She's misinformed that her excrement carries a pleasant spell.

Dropping a turd in AI's punch bowl.

Hmmmm ...

I have one pretty big problem with that blog post. Namely, the idea that Caldwell would, for any reason, ever turn down an autograph seeker .. or try to fly under the radar.

Boggles the mind. She should latch on to anyone who remembers her name.

Dear Star Wars Nerd, err, jawajedi:

Read my post again. Nowhere did I refer to Kimberley Locke as talentless or unsuccessful. The point of the post was that, in my warped mind, I was confusing the two Kimberl[e]ys, and to me, a Kimberley Locke/David Cook pairing would make absolutely no sense. Caldwell I can see because she's a blandly pretty fake blonde girl who has very little personality, just like Mr. Cook. But I just couldn't see Locke and Cook having anything in common besides an Idol past.

If you wanted to come after me for unkindness, may I suggest that you refer to my implication that Ms. Locke is "a little chubby?" That was kind of mean. I also said that the show she was on was called "Celebrity Fat Club," rather than "Celebrity Fit Club." Get it? 'Cause she's fat!

I might also refer you to a refresher course on reading comprehension. It could help to prevent future incidences of you reading ideas and meanings into intarweb posts that simply are not there. Just a friendly suggestion.

Yours in Christ,

Scott Baio

http://notbaio.wordpress.com

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

-- Proverbs 16: 18-19 (KJV)

Dropping a turd in AI's punch bowl.