American Idol 5
Posted by thefunnystone on June 1st, 2006 at 1:00 PM
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American Idol 5 ended up being one of the worst seasons of American Idol ever! We started off the season by supporting the hilarious Brenna Gethers, loveable Bobby Bennett, and strange face-making David Radford. Next, we set our sights on Chicken Little, Mr. Kevin Covais, in the last round of the semifinals. Kevin miraculously made it into the top 12 with our help, and then he sailed through to the top 11 with his hysterical performance of "Part Time Lover". Buzz for the website grew again, as news outlets around the country blamed VFTW for Kevin's seemingly impossible stay in the competition. The following week, Kevin was voted out and VFTW set its sights on the untalented Kellie Pickler. Her ridiculously dumb sayings and naive act were perfect for our cause. Kellie progressively got worse each week, singing subpar versions of "Suds in the Bucket" and "Walking After Midnight." Then, Kellie had the balls to go all out and make VFTW proud with her slutty rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody." Not content to stop there, Kellie then butchered "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered" and "Unchained Melody," all the while making stupid comments about spinach salads and ballsies. She was unchained from the competition in the top 6 and VFTW set its sights on the wacky Taylor Hicks. With his wacky wardrobe, crazy facial tics and spasms, and his hate for Simon Cowell, we knew that Taylor was perfect for the cause. That week, he gave VFTW a shoutout by singing "Play That Funky Music" and spasming around the stage. In the top 4, Chris Daughtry, who many people thought would win, was miraculously voted out of the competition in another hysterical moment reminiscent of Scott Savol and Constantine. It was a gigantic VFTW victory that helped our man sail to the next round. The following week, each constestant received almost 1/3 of the votes, showing that VFTW's votes may have been what kept Taylor safe that week. With the Soul Patrol and VFTW behind Taylor, there was no way he would lose in the end. He ended up winning the entire competition.
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