The Dictionary of the Plants of American Idol 8... So Far

For those of you joining us for today’s season premiere of American Idol, let us catch you up. We’ve been doing our research for the past few months to bring you the skinny on the plants of American Idol 8. Here’s a who’s who of the usual suspects who will be competing for your votes this year, along with some wilted plants who didn’t make it. Use this like a scorecard so you can check off the forest as the plants appear on the show.

Plants Who Are in the Top 50

Name: Brent Keith Smith
Audition City: Unknown
Why He’s a Plant: He’s already came in sixth place on Nashville Star 2, had music videos played on CMT, and sang the theme song to the movie Dale. That’s a super plant if you ask us.

 

Name: Adam Lambert
Audition City: Unknown
Why He’s a Plant: Even though we love him (because he’s crazy), he has appeared in The Ten Commandments at the Kodak Theatre opposite Val Kilmer and also collaborated with composer/guitarist Monte Pittman (who has worked with Madonna).

 

Name: Kendall Beard
Audition City: Unknown
Why She’s a Plant: She was discovered by Grammy winning producer Jeffrey Weber in Los Angeles.

 

Name: Taylor Vaifanua
Audition City: Salt Lake City, Utah
Why She’s a Plant: She’s a background dancer from High School Musical 2 and was on some local Utah show called Create the Group where she formed a singing group called 4 Real.

 


Plants Who May Still Be in the Running

Name: Joanna Pacitti
Audition City: Unknown
Why She’s a Plant: After her public rejection from the Broadway play Annie (and subsequent lawsuit), Joanna then had plenty of music business opportunities like singing on the Legally Blonde soundtrack, the Bratz movie soundtrack (and that song was even covered by Britney Spears this year), and releasing a few failed singles while signed to Geffen Records. She's not just a plant, she's a sequoia!

Name: Kristen McNamara
Audition City: San Francisco, CA
Why She’s a Plant: She also came in 6th place on Nashville Star (is this some kind of pattern?) but she was on during season 4. She seems to be a pop singer, meaning she used Nashville Star for publicity, and she has also worked with NSync and Britney Spears producer Chris Trevett. It also seems she got big ol’ titty implants.

Name: Tasha Valentine
Audition City: Phoenix, AZ
Why She’s a Plant: She’s another Nashville Star contestant (10th place during season 1). But since being on the show, she totally butched up and became much more entertaining and fun. Maybe we’ll like her if she makes it far enough?

 

Name: Jackie Mendez
Audition City: Unknown
Why She’s a Plant: She’s another reject from Kara DioGuardi’s previous failed show, The One, like Syesha Mercado. She was signed to Elektra Records at the age of 17 and performed with Ricky Martin in the past.

 

Name: Raquel “Sarah” Houghton
Audition City: San Francisco, CA
Why She’s a Plant: She’s Dane Cook’s ex-girlfriend and the lead singer of a band called The Valli Girls. She must be pretty desperate to bang Dane Cook for fame.

 

Wilted Plants

Name: David Osmond
Audition City: Salt Lake City, Utah
Why He’s a Plant: Duh… the guy is Donny and Marie’s nephew, and he’s the lead singer of Osmond Second Generation. We heard he was cut in Hollywood though. Thank God! This guy would have taken plantiness to a whole new level.

 

Name: Danielle "Danii" Roundtree
Audition City: New York City
Why She’s a Plant: She’s the current Miss New York USA, and she does an awesome Flavor of Love impression. We think we would have liked her, but she was cut in Hollywood.

 

Name: Emily Wynne-Hughes
Audition City: Phoenix, AZ
Why She’s a Plant: Her band, Go Betty Go, just finished touring Europe and Emily was just at Quentin Tarantino’s birthday bash. What the hell do you need Idol for then? She was eliminated in Hollywood.

 

Name: Michael Castro
Audition City: Unknown
Why He’s a Plant: He’s Jason Castro’s brother. Guess Beasty Cash-Ho needed to pimp out another kid for free computers? Luckily, he was cut in Hollywood.

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badmammerjammer
Posted: January 13, 2009 - 6:47am
Joined: 22 May 2006

Damn you guys, you changed the home page up on me. I thought I was at the wrong place or something!!
I'm looking forward to tonight's show, but I am torn between watching some Penguin's hockey or AI. The Pens might actually score a goal tonight or something and I don't want to miss it.
I'm so glad the season is starting already, thanks for the updates on all of the new plants!
It's good to be back!!
Time to get rid of this avatar. I forgot I had it.

manlambda
Posted: January 13, 2009 - 7:35am
Joined: 16 Apr 2008

I think I'd give Adam and Taylor a pass on the plant label. Adam being in a Broadway type musical really means nothing and Taylor a back up dancer of HSM2 not a big deal. The others definitely qualify as plants with some of them super no herbicide can kill plants.

Orangutan
Posted: January 13, 2009 - 7:43am
Joined: 20 Feb 2007

A couple of those are bad but for the most part it's nothing compared to Carly last year. Like I hardly consider dancing in HSM and being in a Utah talent competition to qualify one as a plant.

tulaplee
Posted: January 13, 2009 - 8:21am
Joined: 24 Apr 2008

Kristin brings a whole new meaning to the term "Planty Plant." Are we sure that she didn't mistake AI for Rock of Love Tour Bus?

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Stop running around like a toilet brush!!!!!!

Snotty
Posted: January 13, 2009 - 11:00am
Joined: 01 Mar 2007

RE: Brent Keith Smith...

What in the hell is Nashville Star 2? CMT? And a movie called Dale? Seems like your first plant has really been potted in high profile fame.

If you don't know what any of those things are, you won't like this guy anyway.

Weenrocks
Posted: January 13, 2009 - 5:09pm
Joined: 22 Feb 2008

These plants must be exposed and stomped out! Except for two:

Adam Lambert's awesomeness exceeds his plantiness, and although I can't quite put my finger on it, something about Kristen McNamara's picture (which is now my wallpaper) makes me want to keep her around. Actually I just figured it out, and I would like to put my finger on it.

Aloha Dave, Smartie, Deb, Purple, Prof Chan, Scott Baio, and the rest of the gang from years past! Here's to a hilariously bad new season! Let's make the tweentards cry like never before! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take a Carolyn.

Scott Baio
Posted: January 13, 2009 - 6:25pm
Joined: 05 Mar 2008

God dammit. I thought they told us last year that they were going to change. In my naivete, I hoped that would mean no more plants, no more pounding us over the head with shitty auditions, and no more shitty judges. Instead, we get more plants, more crap auditions, and another shitty, unqualified judge. That's not change!

Can't they, like, get Obama up in this motherfucker for some change I can believe in?

Or, even better, does anyone have any spare change? My car broke down, and I'm totally stuck here. I'm trying to get enough together for a bus ticket to Cleveland. Anything would help. God bless!

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http://notbaio.wordpress.com

AATFC
Posted: January 13, 2009 - 6:59pm
Joined: 24 May 2008

For some reason, I'm really not that excited about this reason. All I care about is who we pick and when it will be over. My prediction is we may have a VFTW winner this year, seeing as all the talent in America is being sapped out.

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For some reason, I really wanted Jason Castro to sing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

cristalena
Posted: January 14, 2009 - 9:23am
Joined: 03 May 2007

Crazy I thought Emily looked Familiar. Poor Go Betty Go, I really like them. Their first singer left too and Emily took over a couple years ago.

She definitely didnt need American Idol.

NoirFan01
Posted: January 14, 2009 - 11:33am
Joined: 19 Mar 2008

Clearly some people are getting auditions who don't exactly qualify for AI as they're a bit over qualified. But, if they're truly plants, why are they getting cut in Hollywood?

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NoirFan