Carly Smithson - Still an Epic Failure

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Fri, 12/19/2008 - 16:44 — thefunnystone

Want to know why you've heard nothing from us about season 7 punching bag Carly Smithson? Because there's nothing to report. Carly, as usual, has failed at jump starting her music career, and AOL has an article up about her today called "Post Idol Future Bleak for Many Singers". Highlights include Carly talking about how no one wants her for anything and the quote, "The 'Idol' contestant was forced to start from scratch and rebuild her music career -- all alone." Aw, poor Carlyplant. No one wants to water her. So what's she up to? The article says she's "recording a demo." This translates to "no one wants her." Oh well, maybe she'll surprise us and try again so we can report on her sixth epic failure.

Comments

Sat, 01/24/2009 - 19:29 — ShockerT

I say we gather up all these

I say we gather up all these bitter people that are slamming Carly Smithson and find out what all they have failed at. I say we find out how many of them never had the courage to even try to chase their dreams. We might even find out why they are all so bitter. Simply pathetic if you ask me.

Sat, 12/20/2008 - 04:52 — Scott Baio

Note, though, that even the

Note, though, that even the AOL article follows Carly and AI's lead of conveniently fudging the facts on Carly's behalf:

Six years before her appearance on the reality show, Smithson, then 17, was signed to a major label. But her dreams shattered quickly, when the label disbanded before her album was even released.

No, not true. The label did not implode before the album was released, the album was not given poor marketing, and the terrorists didn't cook up the whole 9/11 scheme just to screw her out of a career, despite what Carly would so desperately love for you to believe. Her album was released by MCA with a plop, like a giant turd dropping into a toilet. Next up is the sound of her career as the toilet is flushed, and her dreams go twirling around and around until she is whisked away into the dark sewers of obscurity like the worthless piece of shit that she is.

Bring on the next group of plants! This one has withered up and died.

Fri, 12/26/2008 - 03:34 — insaneinthesfv

Quote: Her album was

Quote:

Her album was released by MCA with a plop, like a giant turd dropping into a toilet.

More like a hard little nugget, one that doesn't make much of an impact.

Sat, 12/20/2008 - 20:26 — azurebird

Oh yeah, and a sixth failure would be FANTASTIC. She deserves all that's bad.

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